God Help the Girl

Directed by Stuart Murdoch. With Emily Browning, Olly Alexander, Hannah Murray, Pierre Boulanger. As Eve begins writing songs as a way to sort through some emotional problems, she meets James and Cassie, two musicians each at crossroads of their own. God Help the Girl is about emotions and music and there’s heaping helpings of both. Teenaged appetite sized-servings. Teenaged appetite sized-servings. Yes, of course the film is like a wistful fruit, pulverized down to pulp so you can swallow deep and let the juice stain your lips. Free shipping on orders of $35+ from Target. Read reviews and buy God Help the Girl (DVD)(2015) at Target. Get it today with Same Day Delivery, Order Pickup or Drive Up. God Help the Girl is a project created by Stuart Murdoch of the band Belle and Sebastian for his film by the same name. The band released a self-titled album in 2009 consisting of tracks that were ... God Help The Girl was a great movie that unfortunately hasn’t gotten the recognition it deserves. The film follows Eve(Browning) as she tries to overcome anorexia nervosa and her own fears about where she wants to go in life, while learning to let people in and live independently. Also starting Olly Alexander as James, Eve’s first friend ... The occasional awkwardness of God Help the Girl is part of its considerable charm. The writer-director Stuart Murdoch (from the band Belle and Sebastian) captures the strange mix of vulnerability ... In God Help the Girl, writer/director Stuart Murdoch creates a poignant coming-of-age story that doubles as a sublime indie-pop musical from one of indie pop's biggest songwriters. The project ... God Help the Girl is a musical project authored by Stuart Murdoch, the leader of the Scottish indie pop group Belle and Sebastian, featuring, besides Belle & Sebastian as the accompanying band, a group of female vocalists, including Catherine Ireton.The records released as part of the project include so far: the singles Come Monday Night, Funny Little Frog (2009) and Baby, You're Blind (2010 ... God Help The Girl is a musical feature film, which will be made in 2012. It is written and is to be directed by Stuart Murdoch, the lead singer of the group Belle And Sebastian.

Listen To This

2009.05.06 06:09 Mr_A Listen To This

Listentothis is the place to discover new and overlooked music. All submissions link directly to music streams. Automated moderation removes spam, reposts, household name bands, and poor amateur music. Other content includes AMAs from on-topic artists, an album discussion club, and genre appreciation threads. Content is tagged by genre and split into editions for easy browsing. Music charts are posted monthly. Sidebar features multireddits that include all 600+ of the other music subreddits.

2017.07.08 00:42 Red-Curious Doing what God designed men to do.

Biblical masculinity, relationship, and sex advice from a biblical, yet pragmatic perspective.

2009.09.06 20:48 ksan Evangelion

God's in his heaven. All's right with the world.

2020.09.23 20:08 VoidKiller826 Fantomex #5: Constructive Mutation


Issue Five: Constructive Mutation
Saga 1, Arc 2: All Roads Lead to Rome.
Written by u/VoidKiller826
Edited by u/DarkLordJurasus & u/duelcard
“Hello.” Normal speech.
‘Hello.’ Internal speech.
“Hello.” EVA speaking.
[Hello.] Radio/Phone speaking.
{Hello.} TV Speaking.
Nefaria Castle - Underground Facility - Rome, Italy:
He couldn’t count just how many guns were aimed at his direction.
Every one of the black-armored soldiers carried enough firepower that would make his own arsenal pathetic in comparison. If these guys managed to take down Mutants and cage them up, then they are more ready to take Fantomex out in a shootout in the facility.
His hands were close to his pistols as the air grew tense as everyone was waiting for the one who blew this place all the way to hell.
“You are a long way from Symkaria, Charlie.” said the man who commanded these soldiers. Constrictor, aka Frank Payne, an armored mercenary who has been growing famous for the past year since he left. And so far he seems to have succeeded in his goal. “I never expected you of all people to leave Sable’s side.”
Stalling, good. This would give him time to set things up…
“Thirty weapons trained in your direction.”
Well… that answers the number of guns aimed at him.
‘Chances of survival here, EVA?’
‘Straight to the point I see…’
Fantomex slowly got up, using the computer he got thrown into for support. Hands-on the surface of the broken machine as he steadied himself, thankfully, Constrictor was kind enough to let him stand up.
“Let’s say the Princess and I have our… differences in handling certain things, but I’ve been hearing she is doing well.” he coughed out, trying to keep his mind steady as he planned out a way to get out of this pickle. “I did not expect you to actually be working with the mafia in this part of the world.”
“I am not explaining anything to you. I am here on a job, how and why is none of your business.”
It is when children are involved.” Fantomex bit back, taking a step forward, causing some of the Reavers to tighten their aim and Black Ax, who stood next to his commander to ready his weapon but Constrictor stopped them. “I always thought you had a sense of honor, but this? This is crossing a line you will come back from.”
Something had changed with Frank Payne. The two never got along even in the past, but he respected the fact the man had standards. But this? Dealing and trafficking with people? Like they were cattle? Respect gets thrown right out of the window.
Constrictor let out a scoff, finding it funny with what Fantomex just said. “You’re kidding right? You are talking about crossing a line when you saw how Sable was doing last year when the civil war kicked in and did absolutely nothing in stopping? You don’t get to talk about anything, dog.
Fantomex grimaced from his Constrictors word, finding truth behind it.
“Ten seconds.”
Fantomex eyes turned to his left where the cage of their latest test subject was housed. He looked very skinny as if they’ve been starving for weeks. Expression hidden behind the shadows except for his red eyes staring at his direction. Wondering if the Mercenary in White was here to save them? Or die in the attempt?
“I have to say, I expected more out of you,” noted Constrictor, sounding disappointed. “Could have made this a little entertaining before I put you to the ground.”
The armored Mercenary raised his hand, commanding his men to prepare to fire. Who are more than happy to oblige to the order.
“In sync. Waiting for command, Charlie.” EVA’s voice echoed in his mind, which managed to relieve his worries in an instant.
Fantomex grinned beneath his mask, hands circling to his two silver handguns.
“Don’t worry, Frank. This dance is just…” Fantomex took a step back, hands outstretched by his sides as if commanding internally. “Hitting an encore.”
Behind Fantomex, the tv screens that were littered and shattered after he was kicked into it by Constrictor light up, distorted, static. Before settling into a distorted green screen.
And at the center of it is the face of a woman glaring down on the soldiers.
The lights of the facility began flickering everywhere, catching the attention of everyone inside. The mutants that were caged began noticing the collars around their necks began to act up, the red light that indicated outfits activation began flickering.
And they realized just what is about to happen.
Constrictor and his Reavers were shocked at the sudden electrical shift before it dawned on them what Fantomex just did.
“What the shit?!” Black Ax shouted in anger, readying his giant ax. “How the hell did he get in the system?!”
“You…” Constrictor glared at the White clothed mercenary. “She still works with you?!”
“What can I say, she and I are inseparable,” Fantomex noted smugly. Constrictor knows about EVA, but to him, she is a hacker from somewhere in the world, not someone who Fantomex shares a body with.
The beauty of mystery never fails to amaze even the simplest of minds.
“Reconfiguring the system, all security locks are disengaged,” EVA announced through the facility speakers, her voice echoing for everyone to hear. “Inhibitor collars: offline. Have a pleasant freedom everyone.”
And on command, every cell in the facility opened wide, the sound of the metallic collars dropping to the floor as the Mutants that were once caged were finally able to get out.
What followed was a huge explosion from nearby, with some of the Reavers screaming and bullets flying in that direction.
The mutants are out, and they are not only looking to escape, but they are looking for blood.
“Sir! The tech guys just sent out that they lost control!” one of the soldiers said in a panic tone.
Constrictor gritted his teeth, glaring at the smiling Fantomex before signaling his men. “Team Two and Three! Support the other patrol teams in the facility! Do. Not. Hold. Back! Use the soundwave when needed!”
The teams and the team leaders saluted and ran to different directions, needing as much manpower they could throw to keep this place under control.
“Twenty soldiers, chances of survival is still zero,” EVA noted, calm as ever within his brain. “I am not detecting any escape paths near you.”
‘Doesn’t matter for me, EVA. If the mutants here managed to escape, then I am content.’ He cited, while all of this started because he wanted information about his past from Caprice. He will never leave others to suffer for the sake of his goals, even if it means his own death.
Open fire!” Constrictor shouted to his Reavers, not wanting to give Fantomex a chance to react.
Before the mercenary could run for cover, a body suddenly appeared in front of him. The man in front of him was a massive man of muscles and… more muscles. Exceeding in size to everyone in the room, even to Black Ax’s own size.
The giant turned to Fantomex, giving him a wide grin. The Mercenary realized he was the same skinny person that was locked up in the cage, now a giant pile of muscles standing in front of him.
“You got guts in showing off to these wise guys, I respect strong guys like that!” said the giant to Fantomex, using his whole body to protect the mercenary from the firing squad. Not at all affected from the barrage of bullets that would have killed Fantomex in an instant. “Say, cause you got me and my folks here out, how about we get out of here together?”
Fantomex noticed the giant had a very distinguishable Italian-American accent, another mutant far from home. The Mercenary in White responded with a nod, brandishing his two handguns, ready for a fight.
“Lead the way my giant mutant, oh, and you may call me… Fantomex.”
The giant gave him a confused look and shrugged. “Eh, heard weirder names.” he noted before introducing himself. “Name’s Guido! When we get out of here I’ll be buying you some nice cold beer.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
The giant, Guido, turned to the Reavers and flexed his muscles, challenging them to come forward. “Come on! I am ready for another round at ya dirty mercs, none of these scrubs and needles poking at my strong body!”
“Ax, take care of him, I don’t care if you kill him, just get it done.” Constrictor ordered Black Ax, not caring if the higher ups get pissed for ruining their experiments that they’ve been working on with the giant mutant. “All of you! Don’t hold back! Turn to armor piercing rounds! Bring out the heavies and get this place contained!”
“Sir!” the soldiers all responded to the command and aimed their weapons at the two.
“Waste those turds!” Black Ax shouted to his men, who fired a hail of bullets to the two.
“Hostiles on your right!” EVA warned Fantomex, talking to him through his brain.
Using the giant mutant for shield, Fantomex charged alongside Guido as the bullets bounced off of him, but all it did was make his body grow bigger, stronger the more times he was hit. Which helped Fantomex greatly as he took advantage and started firing back at the Reavers, wounding several of them in the exchange as his bullet pierced through their heavy armor.
‘Cobalt’s engineering never ceases to amaze me.’
Guido bulldozed through the Reavers as he came closer to Constrictor and Black Ax. The former raised his arms to block Guido’s muscled arm, but it didn’t stop him from getting swatted away. The latter swung his giant ax that shared his namesake toward Guido, aiming to take his head off.
The giant dodged the attack and tackled the black-amored giant. Guido pushed forward, dragging Black Ax and crashing through the metal railing, sending the two tumbling down to the lower level, where the Reavers and Mutants were fighting one another.
“The Commander is down!” One of the Reavers shouted before turning to the now coverless Fantomex. “Focus fire on him-”
The Reaver howled in pain as Fantomex fired at his shoulder, and the black-armored mercs answered back with another hail of bullets.
‘Getting low on ammo here…’ Fantomex’s eyes glowed, allowing EVA to scan the area, giving him a few openings he can pass through the hail of gunfire. Not easing up his assault, the mercenary in white charged forward, dodging the Reaver’s hail of bullets with inhuman speed.
“What the hell?! How is he this fast-”
The first poor Reaver received a vicious right to the face, through his strength he managed to crack on his helmet with one shot, sending him flying.
“Ten remaining in your area.” Noted EVA as she continued working through the Reavers and the Maggia security. “Please stay at least twenty feet, Charlie. I need to maintain connection.”
The other Reavers, out of instinct or desperation, set aside their weapons and focused on fighting Fantomex hand to hand, with the first one punching forward. Fantomex caught the hand easily, but felt a strong weight behind it, like a solid rock hitting the palm of his hand. Clearly well trained judging by the force behind the punch.
Fantomex fought them, using his fighting skills to combat the oncoming Reavers, one at the time, three at the time, all at once. Different approach, all for the sake of killing him. But he managed to dodge, block, kick, punch and headbutt any Reaver that got close.
He was getting the upper hand, much to the bewilderment and anger of the Reavers until he felt a wire wrap around his waist and pulled him back just as he was about to finish off one of the Reavers.
The whiplash behind the pull made him feel like his head was about to take off, just as he got closer he felt a brutal kick to his back, sending him flying forward and crashing into a nearby crate.
“Damn…” he spat out, feeling like a hammer just hit his spine from how the force was delivered. Turning to his opponent, Constrictor, who had long electrical whips out of his gauntlets.
“Reavers! Focus on helping the other teams!” Constrictor ordered as he pulled Fantomex closer, his professional tone all but gone and replaced with anger. “I am burying this bastard!”
The soldiers without any hesitation quickly dispersed after the order, leaving the two mercenaries alone as the fighting between the Reavers and the Mutant raged on in the background.
Fantomex raised his mask and spat out blood, giving Constrictor a bloody grin. The whip left a bloody mark around his waist from the electrical attack.
“You’ve trained your soldiers well my fair whip user, you might have gone further if you weren’t focused on mutant trafficking.”
Constrictor gritted his teeth and moved his whip, hitting the floor and creating a straight line. “Shut up and fight… We wasted enough time as it is.”
“Agreed, although catching up never hurts… much.” Fantomex cracked his neck, reloading his weapons and took a stance.
And charged forward weapons drawn, ready to make sure every mutant here gets out of here alive.
Even if it means risking his life.
At the same time - Nefaria Castle - Underground Facility:
“The Mutants are out in Section 3!” One Reaver shouted nearby.
[Section 5! He is out! I repeat! He is out-] A Reaver radio call turned to static as screams followed from somewhere in the facility.
[Holy hell… How is she gonna throw that thing at us!-] another radio call was cut off, followed by something heavy hitting a wall, shaking the facility.
Reavers firing their weapons toward any mutant that are in their range, it doesn't matter who, they just have to contain this battle in any way, even if it means killing every mutant in the facility. The facility was starting to be filled with smoke as fires burned everywhere.
“Team Three with me!” The Reaver Team Leader commanded the others as they came through the smoke, taking the lead. “Commander gave us the go to use the Sonic Cannon, so don’t waste our chance!”
“There!” one of the Reavers pointed toward the smoke ahead. “Someone is coming out!”
And through the smoke, out came a group of mutants, each of them glaring at the Reavers with murderous intent. The leading mutant stepped forward, a dark-skinned man dressed in the overalls the Reavers gave them.
“It's Bedlam!” a Reaver shouted and aimed his weapon at the mutant. “His mutant crew took out Skullbuster’s team back in New York!”
“Dammit! Don’t let him use his powers-” Just as the Team Leader was about to spout his orders, he felt a headache creep in, and it continued expanding at every second. “What… what the hell… my head is spinning…”
The dark-skinned mutant, Bedlam, had his hands forward, moving his fingers and causing the lights and computers flickering with each movement. The Reavers grabbed their heads in pain, whatever Bedlam was doing to cause the electricity to flicker also caused the soldiers immense pain.
“Take him down!...” the Team Leader shouted, trying to aim his weapon. “Take… all of them down! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
A powerful lightning bolt came through the smoke, hitting the Reaver team with a powerful electrical shock. The attack caused many of them to scream in pain before collapsing in a heap, knocked out.
Bedlam shook his head before turning to the newcomer who followed him. She was the blue haired girl that was in the same cell he was locked in, he guessed her to be at least thirteen or twelve years old judging from her demeanor and looks. Her eyes, compared to his, were filled with hatred, gritting her teeth together as she glared at the pile of Reavers.
“Not bad, shrimp.” said Bedlam to the blue haired girl, cracking his neck, feeling stiff from the month long of captivity. “There’s the spot… hey don’t go overboard with the mercs, okay?.”
The blue-haired girl scoffed, turning her eyes to Bedlam with a glare, still sparkling after using her powers. “Watashi wa kinishinai. Watashi wa sorera subete o shūryō shimasu.” She said aloud, speaking fast, too fast.
“.... Right, I'll pretend I understood what you just said....” Bedlam answered, playing along even though he did not understand a lick of what she just said. Looking over his shoulder, he called out to the rest behind them. “Alright! Follow me! We will be out of here soon.”
More mutants came out of the smoke, some looking different then the others. Some looked normal, others had the appearances of a giant humanoid rock, a mutant with a watery form where you can see their skeleton, or a giant lizard. Every mutant that was with him in the cage looked different, but all share the same thing he has, they are all mutants.
“It seems the other’s are more focused on taking their revenge on the soldiers instead of escaping.” a white-haired mutant came out of the crowd, his appearance different from the others as he looked like a humanoid bird, covered with feathers and a beak for a mouth. “I do hope we don’t plan on joining this little fight....”
“If that merc follows through his promise then we wouldn’t be joining in, let the psychos kill each other out.” Bedlam noted as he heard gunfire, the screams and something heavy being thrown around. Turning back to the avian mutant, Bedlam noted: “You weren’t kidding that your transformation wasn’t pretty, Burnell.”
Burnell Bohsuck let out a small laugh, walking on his hind legs, he stood next to Bedlam as he stared ahead. "Not everyone can have super strength or firing lightning bolts," he nodded at the blue haired girl, who pouted, impatient with the standing around. "But we make due what God has given us."
"Positive outlook for a guy who looks like a bird." Bedlam cited before looking ahead through the smoke. "We can discuss how God cursed us after we get the hell out of here… if we can find the exit-"
"Good evening everyone."
Everyone's attention turned to the facility speakers as a voice of a woman came out of it, the same woman who announced their freedom.
"Please follow the emergency red lights leading to the exit of the facility." The voice announced in a calm tone. “Any mutants who desire to leave, there will be transport as promised.”
“Bold announcement to everyone in the facility to hear.” Burnell noted, the speakers announced it to everyone in the area, meaning even the Reavers heard it. “That would make things difficult.”
“Not if they are getting slaughtered.” Bedlam took the lead and walked through the smoke, looking for the red lights. “Everyone is so focused on keeping this place under control I doubt they would even notice the announcement.”
Bedlam was still skeptical, the merc in white said he had a means to get the hell out of this place and go back home. But he has to believe that all of this chaos happening around them would give them the means to get the hell out of this place with everyone else.
“Come on,” Bedlam signaled everyone behind him. “We are getting out of here and no one will stop us from getting back home.” he turned to Brunell, who compared to the others, doesn’t personally know and wasn’t with him when they took him and his crew back in NY. “That includes you, dutchman. We accept anyone in our little town, no matter how they look.”
“Why thank you.” Brunel managed to smile with his beak, still hopeful compared to Bedlam. “But let’s hope we can get out of here first with what we have.” he noted, citing the mutants with them, which consisted of some adults and a lot of children and teenagers.
“Don’t worry,” Bedlam grinned in confidence, just as there was a sound of something heavy falling nearby. “My people will help us get out of here.”
“Your… people?” Brunel asked, a little nervous after hearing that crash nearby before hearing someone shout ahead within the foggy smoke.
“You call that strong!” a voice bellowed ahead, followed by another crash, through the smoke they could see two giants wrestling each other, with the other growing in size with each hit. “I’ll show you strong wise guy!”
Bedlam turned to Brunell, still smiling confidently. “As I said, my people. These mercs and scrubs don’t know who they are messing with.”
The fighting continued, reaching even upstairs as some of the mutants broke through the doors and into the heart of the castle, fighting Reavers and Maggia alike. Burning and destroying anything in their path.
Outside of Nevaria Castle:
Throughout his life, Ralph Roberts had his fair share of ups and downs. From his military days before getting discharged, to marriage to his divorce because his wife was a horrible woman, to getting a job in Stark Industries then getting fired because he wanted an extra buck and dealing at the side before getting caught. To now working as a pilot taking mercenaries all over the world for jobs that pays a lot but with a higher risk factor than anything else.
So when he got a radio call from EVA of all people, the first time he had even spoken to her. It shocked him greatly, the fact that she is a woman sharing a brain with Fantomex of all people lending support. Her call was simple, land the plane nearby for extraction. Not only to get Fantomex out, but to get mutants the Maggia were trafficking out of the country.
He could have refused the request and just got out of the country, moved on with his life and let Fantomex and the mutants to their fate. But… loyalty to a man who did a lot for him in the past year got the better over common sense. And so he landed the plane at an empty plain of grass in front of the castle, spacious enough and not rough enough to land the hunk of metal.
“I should have taken that security job at Hammer…” Cobalt complained under his breath as he removed his seat belt and ran out of the plane. “I told the idiot not to go overboard and he went ahead and did it anyway…”
Outside he could smell the burning smoke reach to him as he stared out into the castle ahead. He could hear gunfire and shouting from where he stood, a large smoke forming from where he suspects to be the courtyard. Smoke reaches all the way to the sky, so it won’t be long before the whole city will notice it, which would n't be long before the police show up.
“Christ, Fantom… you just had to play hero…” he massaged his head at the chaos ahead, its one thing to deal with the mob, it's a whole other thing to deal with mutants with the power to destroy an entire city.
He heard a loud bang, like a hammer slamming into metal. Cobalt turned to the castle main gate, it looked strong enough to hold any attack if they were in medieval times. But the bang was loud, very loud.
Another bang, and this time the gate pushed forward, as if someone made a dent from behind it. Another hit, and another and another until it completely exploded open as a giant… a thing came out of the gate. It looked like it was a person with a bloated buddy, muscled up to the bone. Its size eclipsing everything he has ever seen in his life.
‘EVA mentioned I’ll be seeing a giant man… I’ll take a guess that’s him…’ He thought hard about what to do but swear at his breath, it's too late to second guess his decision. “Hey!” he called out to the giant, trying to catch his attention. “Over here!”
A giant plane parked in front of a castle isn’t exactly an everyday occurrence, so he wonders if it's worth the effort to catch anyone’s attention and not get marked by the Maggia.
The mutant turned to his direction and gave him a wide grin, signaling to someone behind him. Ralph was taken aback at the large number of people coming out of the castle, adults leading children of different ages and race to his direction, with a dark-skinned man taking the lead.
“You working with the merc?” the dark-skinned man asked in a rather forceful tone, eyeing Cobalt with distrust. “The one with the weird name?”
Ralph couldn’t help but crack up at the description. “Yeah, Fantomex. Dude in white who likes to do weird stuff.” He pointed at the plane nearby. “Name’s Cobalt, I am the pilot, didn’t expect to be taking more passengers today.”
He never saw a mutant in person, he honestly expected them to look like normal people that can shoot out fireballs or control magnets like that one mutant on the news. But seeing the different people and looks he saw shocked him. Some looked like lizards, a giant rock, a bird, a kid with spikes coming out of his back to name a few.
“Neither did we expect one.” he nodded to the bird mutant, telling him to get the others into the plane. “Sorry for the extra baggage.”
“That’s fine.” Ralph shrugged before eyeing the giant muscled up mutant. “Although I don’t know if I can take everyone-”
Another explosion shook the ground, catching everyone's attention. Looking up, they saw on the castle walls, a group of soldiers were firing onto a white skinned Mutant charging towards them at terrifying speed. Clawing his way through them like paper, biting through their neck like an animal.
"What the hell?..." Cobalt was in shock at this brutal display of attack from the mutant. "Isn't he one of you-"
"No," Bedlam cut him off, offended at the comparison. "He is not one of my people. He is apart of a crew who are using their powers for profit back in New York."
"I sense a history here."
"Just with his boss," he answered before turning to the plane. "Come on pilot man, we need to get out here."
"Wait," Ralph looked back to the castle, carrying a worried look. "We still need to wait for Fantomex-"
Ralph’s ears perked up, that was his radio. Picking it up from his hip and answered the caller. “What the hell, Charlie?! What happened to keeping it subtle?! You turn the whole place into a warzone!”
[You can complain to me later, right now I want to ask if you got some people on board your plane?] Fantomex responded back.
He turned back to Bedlam, who was helping the Mutants get in the plane with help from the bird mutant, a blond haired woman with a scar in her cheek, and the muscled up mutant, who looked like he was shrinking in size.
Good, then he shouldn't be worried with the plane not being able to carry the extra weight.
"Don't know how many but they look like a lot of people cramming in." Cobalt answered.
"Thirty-two." The blond-haired woman walked up to him, answering him with a number. "We have thirty two Mutants."
He really wanted to ask how she was able to count everyone so fast but that's for later. "Is that everyone?"
"It is." Bedlam cited, giving him a nod.
Cobalt brought the radio closer and spoke to Fantomex. "We got enough people out of there, not including the psychopaths you also helped escape."
[That's my sin to carry,] the mercenary answered, sounding ashamed for the chaos he caused. [Listen to me, I need you to get that plane flying now.]
"Wait what?!" Ralph asked, perplexed by his request. "You want me to leave you behind?!"
[No, you won't be. Listen carefully because you might fly a little close to the ocean.]
If there was a time for Cobalt to feel an immense headache creeping in, now would be the most appropriate time as he hears Fantomex's insane plan.
"Christ Almighty you will be the death of me…"
Nefaria Castle - Underground Facility:
Fantomex lifted his mask and spat out blood, grimacing in pain as he hobbled through the smoke and fire of the facility. Heavily injured after his fight with Constrictor which ended in a draw between the two due to an interference from some mutants wanting payback to the Reaver commander.
"A woman with super strength is a terrifying thing to witness…"
"Charlie, you are losing too much blood." EVA said inwardly, worried for him
"I know, but we have to get out here, we have a mission to complete."
One of the things he has come to find out in the castle is that it's built by a mountain side, and much to his surprise, more so than the facility is the existence of an underground pier close by. Possibly used by the Reavers for transporting the mutants they kidnap all over the world.
There is a reason the Maggia wouldn't know of the existence of a mutant trafficking ring underneath it's headquarters except the high ranking members. If they passed the mutants from above, the whole Nefaria Family would know. But if they came from somewhere more… discreet. It would make it easier to hide them from any curious eyes.
So thanks to EVA’s scanning and interference after hacking through their systems she was able to find an entry point to the facility from the sea, making it easy for products to go in and out discreetly.
'Should have known it looked odd a castle standing in a mountain near the ocean would have a tunnel underground.'
He walked forward, fighting off the pain as the Reavers continued their battle against the other Mutants who wanted revenge. Fantomex grimaced at the screams, he suspected that there were some bad apples in the Mutants, but seeing the Reavers being brutalized and slaughtered didn't sit well with him.
He actually hoped Constrictor didn't share that same fate with his soldiers.
Fantomex came closer to the pier, with three or so military boats, they looked like Russain crafts. So that means its hull is strong enough to hold off against military grade weapons, but also fast enough because of its reasonable size.
‘You were right, EVA. An operation like this would have access to the sea. Let’s hope they are working.’
Climbing aboard, Fantomex noticed how spacious it is on the inside. Going up to the dashboard, he grabbed on to the helm, allowing EVA to scan and get in the boat systems. Considering it is military built, he guessed right that it would rely more on modern technology over simplicity like any other sea craft in the world.
"Remote hacking activated. Please remain ten feet to not interrupt the connection."
“Whatever happened twenty feet earlier?”
“That would strain you as I would need more effort to keep up our connection.” EVA noted as she worked her magic. “Connection complete, I am now in control of the craft. Focusing on the gate now…”
Fantomex’s ears perked up, hearing military boots approaching nearby. Grimacing his luck, he brandished his pistol and took cover, waiting for the team of Reavers. “Do it fast, EVA. This is my last clip.”
“Hack complete, gate is opening now…”
The gate was opening slowly.
Dammit! We don’t have time for this!” Fantomex swore, of course it would be slow. “EVA! You are the captain of the ship! The moment it has you get us the hell out here and catch up to Cobalt.”
“Understood… planning accordingly…”
“There he is! That’s the guy who the commander wanted dead!” one of the Reavers shouted and aimed his weapon. “Take him down!”
Using the ship walls for cover as he closed the door, thankful the hull was strong enough to hold off any bullets. The Reavers came in ten, surrounding the pier and opening fire to the boat.
The ship was shaking at the volume of bullets that was falling into it, but it was holding, for how long that is something Fantomex fears.
The door continued sliding open at what felt to be a snail pace added with the tension.
"The door is fifty percent open." EVA announced, nonchalant from the situation Fantomex is currently at.
And it reached its peak.
"Kick it, EVA!" Fantomex shouted, firing his remaining bullets at the Reavers. "That should be enough opening for us to go through."
"The ship size wouldn't support it, it could be damaged upon entry."
Fantomex shook his head and smiled underneath his mask. "It's never too late to improvise."
"Fair enough…"
The boat motors came alive as EVA took control of the craft and drove it forward. Going through the gate opening, damaging the hull at its side but EVA pushed on, making sure it entered and out of the gate, leading it to the sea ahead.
Fantomex let out a sigh of relief, feeling less tense now that he was out of reach of the Reavers, the Maggia and the mutants remaining. Let them be other people's problems.
They came out of the tunnel and into the sea ahead. A beautiful sight if not for the fact he still had to worry at some angry Reavers that may come from behind him.
He felt a small shake, then it intensified. Looking up he saw The Cobalt flying above the castle, closely so, passing it and lowering closer to the waters as Cobalt maneuvered the plane with skills.
"Accelerating, but with damage sustained has limited it severely."
Fantomex didn't listen, instead went out and ran up to the nose of the boat, or the bow as he had come to hear it called, at the front of the vessel. Keeping his balance and making sure not to fall overboard at how fast the boat was going at it tried to keep up with a flying aircraft leaning too close to the water.
He gave Cobalt a specific task, keep the plane flying, even when he is following behind. Cobalt can slow down but he cannot stop.
Noticing something from the corner of his eyes, Fantomex turned and grimaced at the sight. A team of Reavers were following behind him, firing at the boat.
‘Persistent lot I’ll give them that…’
Fantomex leaned close as he stood at the nose of the boat, maintaining his balance as the boat shook up and down, soaking him wet. Hoping that the backdoor of the plane would open for him, and thankfully it did.
“Grab on!” Bedlam came out, standing on the rampway of the plane with his arm out. Helped by Guido and a blond-haired woman from not falling out.
He smiled underneath his mask and leaned forward, hands in the railing and knees bent, readying himself.
“The boat is reaching its limit!” EVA announced. “It won’t hold out for long!”
Fantomex dodged an incoming bullet as the Reavers closed in. “Then we improvise! When I give out the order, I want you to hit a sudden break!”
“What? Why? It will send you flying!”
“I know…" he dodged another bullet flying. "I am counting on it!”
The boat wasn’t catching up, instead it was slowing down. The motor finally reached its limit.
Fantomex leaned closer, going over the railing and making sure he maintained his grip.
He breathed in, and out, in and out, in and out.
“Stop!” Fantomex shouted to EVA, who obliged.
The sound of the breaks took a violent hit, stopping the boat dead on water. In the process it sent the leaning Fantomex flying off of it and flipped the boat from the sudden break, taking a couple of turns and crashing into the Reaver boat that was following him.
The action shot him like a bullet, flying through the air and coming closer to the plane. Bedlam, realizing he was coming in fast, signaled Guido to come in his place, expanding his size a bit and caught the incoming Fantomex, but because of how fast he was flying, he pushed Guido inside the plane and fell on his back.
"Close the door!" Bedlam shouted to the cockpit. "He made it!"
That took the wind out of Fantomex. Groggily getting off the giant mutant and tried to stand up before collapsing to the floor. His pain, fatigue, and blood loss finally catching up.
Before getting caught by Burnell and the blue-haired little girl, keeping him standing on his feet and not falling.
Fantomex turned to Burnell, shocked at his appearance before settling and chuckling. "I've seen many wonders in my life," he looked around him, studying every Mutant that was in the plane, all seated on the floor staring at him with wide eyes and awe. "But you people are the greatest wonders I have ever seen."
He went through many missions in his life, many he regrets or having indifferent with the results. It was always do the job and get paid, nothing more.
But this… seeing innocent children and adults all looking different, from coming in different parts of the world to looking physically different all together.
They might look unique because of their mutations, they might have the ability to destroy a castle, they might even kill him with a simple thought. But they are still people, people with choices and feelings.
They deserve that freedom to choose their path and what to do with their powers.
For the first time, he is proud of his job. Even if it wasn't originally a rescue mission.
He wonders if Caprice will be amused or annoyed at his heroics.
"Hey, Fantom!" Cobalt called to the mercenary from the cockpit, carrying a tired tone after the mess he put him through. "Next time you pull something like that, tell me so that I can make sure to not go to another job with you."
Fantomex chuckled, and sighed, feeling accomplishment and proud for what he did.
"No promises my friend, no promises…"
Fantomex, Saga 1, Arc 2.
Previous Issue >>>>>> Next Issue
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2020.09.23 20:05 JDFister Wizard Tournament: Chapter 20

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      This was not the direction Draevin was hoping his conversation with Istven would go. His preference actually would have been to stand in companionable silence, but here he was: trying to convince an unkillable emotionless monster to stay his hand. Draevin cleared his throat. “Of course the Guild couldn’t kill you, but it still might be annoying. Do you really want to go through all that over a human?”
      “It is uncouth of you to try to divert blame to your human,” the black-skinned eldrin warned him. “I see through to the truth of things. Caldenia has struck a blow against Eldesia by taking out Tomrha. I cannot allow such a gesture to go unpunished even if the Usurper Fayse currently occupies my throne.”
      “Wow, wow, wow,” Draevin said. “Don’t you think that’s a bit of a stretch? Peter is just a human, and even if he were my human I’m not even sponsored by Caldenia this year.”
      “Do not insult my intelligence, dirt-eater,” Istven practically growled at him.
      This was going downhill quickly. Draevin decided to try a different approach. “I don’t know why this has you so upset. Isn’t this a win for you? Tomrha might have been sponsored by an Eldesian organization, but everyone knows he was Queen Fayse’s champion. I’d say that makes her look pretty bad, right?”
      Istven actually seemed to consider Draevin’s words. After a moment he said, “Yes. You are correct in this matter. I was confusing eldrin weakness with the Usurper-Queen’s weakness. As long as the only eldrin you eliminate are Fayse’s lackeys then I have no quarrel with you.” Draevin relaxed. “In fact I believe we should make our alliance more official.”
      “Alliance?” Draevin asked in shock. “What alliance?”
      Istven cocked his head ever so slightly to the side and studied Draevin with his creepy white eyes. “Yes, I can see you are well versed at politics. You play very well at looking foolish and uninformed. I may have underestimated you. That you played the game so well even I did not suspect is quite impressive.”
      Draevin could feel this conversation rapidly getting out of his control. Istven now thought he was some kind of political mastermind who arranged peoples’ deaths while appearing uninvolved. There had to be a way out of this and Draevin decided that would have to be the truth. “Look Istven, I think you’re getting the wrong—”
      “There is no need to be so cautious Draevin. Nobody is listening.” Istven stuck out his hand for Draevin to shake. “We should be allies. You take out more of Fayse’s lackeys with that human of yours and I will protect you once I take back the throne.” Draevin hesitated to take Istven’s hand: he had no desire whatsoever to get involved in eldrin politics. “And naturally we will agree to a Mutual Assurance pact when we face each other in round two.”
      At mention of the Mutual Assurance Draevin took his hand without a second thought. Istven was one of the few contestants he knew he couldn’t defeat in a fair fight. “But not a word of this to anyone,” Draevin whispered. “I have appearances to maintain.
      Istven released his hand with a smirk. Draevin couldn’t help but smile back. He had to be the first elf to get a Mutual Assurance pact out of Istven. Without the backing of the Guild the pact wouldn’t have as much weight, but everything Draevin had ever heard about Istven suggested his word was made of the same black iron as his crown.
      Down the hill behind them a commotion could be heard heading their way. Draevin turned just in time to spot Caelnaste with her long purple hair flanked by a small group of fellow eldrin pushing her way through the line. She looked like she was about ready to stab someone with nothing but her gaze.
      “Out of the way, dirt-eater!” Caelnaste called out before shoving Draevin roughly aside.
      Before Caelnaste could push past both of them, Istven stuck his arm out to block the path for her and the rest of her entourage. “You’d best take a few steps back, little girl,” he told her.
      Caelnaste let out a surprised yelp. “How dare you lay hands on me! I’m Queen Fayse’s rightfully-appointed champion!”
      Istven shoved her back a step. “Your false Queen’s jurisdiction ends at the border of Eldesia. The line starts back there and—”
      Caelnaste laughed. “Oh, are you King-of-the-Line now? Daddy didn’t take the throne like he was supposed to, so now you’re snapping up any power you can lay hands on like a starving animal looking for scraps of meat?”
      A few of Caelnaste’s cronies chuckled in response but Istven didn’t so much as blink. He continued to hold his arm out in her way. “All I care about right now,” he said, “is that enforcing Guild rules will allow me a legal right to duel you.” He nodded to the elf woman following immediately behind Caelnaste, whom Draevin recognized as the uptight Guild registrar he had registered with just yesterday. She was flanked by eldrin on all sides and her face looked puffy and pink as though she’d been crying. “Isn’t that right, registrar?” Istven asked her.
      The registrar jerked in surprise when Istven said her name. She looked toward Caelnaste with wide eyes but made no move to answer Istven’s question. Caelnaste crossed her arms and answered on the registrar’s behalf. “Not during the tournament it doesn’t. And on what grounds?”
      “You assaulted my close friend and ally here. Then you called him by a racial slur. I am duty-bound to restore his honor,” Istven explained. At this Caelnaste smiled wickedly in Draevin’s direction as though she had somehow just received good news. “As for our duel—we can schedule it for after the tournament has completed. Does the twenty-fourth work for you?”
      Caelnaste laughed at this. “Very funny, Istven. I really have to go though, I’ve been tracking down this mutt all evening and if he gets away again because of your jokes I will make your life very difficult.” She tried to push his arm out of the way, but it moved about as much as a stone wall. “What? What’s your problem! I’m not trying to skip your stupid line, get out of my way!” she shrieked.
      “I was not joking,” Istven said in a deadly serious tone. “Apologize.” Istven’s calm demeanor was making Caelnaste look like a petulant child by comparison rather than one of the most politically-connected contestants in the tournament.
      Caelnaste looked Draevin and Istven over with a more discerning gaze than before. “What do you expect me to apologize for exactly?” She demanded, “I barely touched him! Do you actually think the Guild will approve a duel based on… What? An overcrowded line?” She threw her long purple hair back over her head with a whip. “Forget it. I don’t owe either of you a damn thing, least of all an apology, and if you don’t get out of my way right this instant I’ll be making a complaint to the Guild that you’ve used physical force against me, and I’ll have plenty of witnesses!” She gestured to the group of eldrin behind her that she’d been leading.
      Istven turned to Draevin as though making conversation, “Did you hear that, friend? An admission of assault from her own lips.”
      Caelnaste studied Istven, then closed her eyes for a brief moment. Her lids flashed with an amber light, which Draevin knew to mean she was accessing her power of foresight. She didn’t like something she saw in her vision and gave a surprised yelp before opening her eyes again. She stared daggers at Istven. “I see how it is. You’ve made friends with the dirt-eaters now? Your father would be so proud.” A few of her cronies snickered behind her. “Queen Fayse will be very interested to hear about this.”
      “It is only natural we ally,” Istven told her. “We have the same enemy.”
      “Oh, you do,” she turned her head to very pointedly stare at Draevin, “you definitely do.”
      There was a long pause, during which the line moved forward a step. Everyone behind Istven decided to busy themselves with literally anything that didn’t get them embroiled in the current stare-down. Istven finally spoke up. “If you’re not going to—”
      “Fine!” Caelnaste cut him off, apparently deciding whatever she was doing was worth the hit to her ego. She turned to Draevin. “I’m sorry your people’s history of eating dirt has made you sensitive to being called dirt-eaters.”
      Istven tsked. “That didn’t sound very genuine. Draevin, did that sound genuine to you?”
      Draevin really didn’t want to get any more involved than he already was. “As long as she really meant it I don’t care how she phrases…” his words died at an intense glare from Istven. He cleared his throat and started again. “Which is exactly why I couldn’t possibly accept that apology, since she clearly didn’t mean it.” Draevin very deliberately didn’t look at Caelnaste when he said this. He thought it best not to make this any more personal than it had to be.
      Istven turned his eerily pale gaze back to Caelnaste. “He didn’t like it. Try again.”
      Caelnaste’s mouth drew flat, stress-lines marred the otherwise perfectly smooth skin around her lips. “I’m. Sorry.” she said in a clipped tone.
      Istven’s arm still hung in the air like the wood of a dead tree. “Draevin?” he asked.
      “Ha ha,” Draevin laughed in an attempt to lighten the mood, “that sounded good to me.”
      Just like that Istven’s arm finally dropped back to his side. “Pleasant evening to you, Caelnaste,” he said as the paler eldrin stormed past him with her group of followers and a little less pride than she’d come with. She spared a last glance back over her shoulder at Draevin before departing. He could swear her eyes were glowing brighter than usual. Did impotent rage do that to eldrin? He thought it probably did.
      When she was gone, Istven moved a few steps forward to catch up with the moving line. “Tools like her,” he said over his shoulder to Draevin, “you’ve got to put them in their place or they start thinking the power they wield comes from themselves.”
      “Well said,” Draevin agreed, looking behind him as he did so to see if a friendly elf face had joined the line for The Pot. No such luck. He was starting to feel like maybe a few extra bowls of soup with his dinner would be worth getting away from the madman he’d apparently just hitched himself to. “I think I actually need to give up my spot in line, though,” he announced. “I’m sure I’m not going to like whatever Caelnaste is up to, but if I’m this close by I think I might as well go see for myself.” He could see Caelnaste was marching straight to where Peter and Grrbraa were standing. That couldn’t be good, and Sylnya would never forgive him if something happened to her pet human while he stood by doing nothing.
      “Very well,” Istven said, with the same casual unconcern he’d used when demanding an apology out of Caelnaste or calling Draevin a dirt-eater himself, “but if you find yourself in a formal duel with Caelnaste or any of her ilk seek me out and I will fight as your champion.”
      Even though Draevin had won the entire tournament himself several times, the idea of asking someone else to fight as his champion in a duel didn’t seem entirely absurd if that person was Istven. He might exaggerate about his abilities, calling himself a god and such, but he was as close to invincible as anyone could be. The only reason he’d never won the tournament before was because of the out-of-bounds rule.
      “I will keep that in mind, Istven,” Draevin told him, and then, only because he felt like it was probably expected of him, added, “and thanks for sticking up for me.”
      This actually earned Draevin an uncharacteristic chuckle from the stony black eldrin as he departed after Caelnaste. “Anytime, dirt-eater!” he heard shouted after him.
      A few paces up the hill and around the corner Draevin could already hear a familiar grumbling voice, like rocks flowing downhill, and it sounded angry. “…part of me. I will not obey!” it said. It was Grrbraa.
      As the scene came into view he saw Caelnaste and crew surrounding the werebeast. After the brutal way Grrbraa had killed her husband in his last match it wasn’t that surprising to see that he was her target. The great hairy beast was turning his head around frantically in an attempt to keep his eyes on all sides at once. He had one claw up where it held his precious circlet firmly on his head. One of Caelnaste’s followers stepped closer when his back was turned and he spun around and growled ferociously.
      Draevin spotted Peter watching the events unfold from close by. He tapped the human on the shoulder. “What’s going on?” he whispered.
      Peter creased his brows in concern. “Caelnaste is trying to confiscate Grrbraa’s circlet,” Peter explained.
Index Next See up to 7 chapters early on Patreon
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2020.09.23 19:48 Gottchen Life After (Without) Phenibut

I’m reducing phenibut right now. It has been a godsent for me and my mental health issues but I’ve got dependent on it and it doesn’t work (strongly euphoric, anxiolytic, motivating) like it did in the past, it’s hit & miss now, most times it’s very subtle or doesn’t work at all. Before phenibut I suffered from social anxiety and severe depression too so that part of withdrawal I will recognize from my old times without phenibut.
I think the worst about coming off phenibut is coming back to my old socially anxious and depressive me. I made so many friendships and romantic relationships, could fulfil my hobbies and passions and built my personality just as I wanted my perfect self to be. I really had a perfect life and a perfect perspective to the future. Life was going, life was worth every second and extremely liveable. I just was amazing in my skills, personality and even physiological strength, but still friendly, complimenting and extremely helpful and supporting to every person I met. Might it be the cool guys or misfits I then integrated and tried to help getting out of misery.
Otherwise I could just go to any girl, talk with her, seduce her or get her number or take her with me. Same unbelievably great sociability with boys, parents from friends, seniors, just any person I met. I was a fucking social god, all people loved me and I loved them. I was productive and energic, creative and intelligent, friendly and loving. I brought something good to the people and the world.
Now phenibut does not work anymore, I’m partly withdrawing and here I am losing my perfect life and personality I created on phenibut. All my friends and girls will not recognize me again when I go this part of quitting phenibut. I will turn back to my old me again: I suffer from social anxiety and severe depression since I'm 15 so my cognition (memory, concentration and creativity), mood, as well as physical state don't function at all. Phenibut was the magic pill that rescued me from my miserable fortune and all the psychological and physiological downgrade depression and anxiety gives you.
I see myself boring people and myself again, I won't be able to think about what to talk, get interested in anything, having passions/hobbies, I will turn back to silent/shy/introverted, unproductive, unable to do anything again. I will turn uncreative and even unintelligent again as that's what depression and anxiety will do with your brain: block your ability to think clearly and use your brain and cognition like you could do.
I tried almost all pharmaceuticals available in my state and two depth-psychological therapies. None helped, not even a bit. There still are some medications I would be open to try, as well as (cognitive) behavioral therapy. I'm just having my second appointment for my behavioral therapy tomorrow.
Did any of you have same experiences? I mean being extremely depressive and socially anxious, then have been finding phenibut, abusing it for a long time, having a great life and then having to quit phenibut because of tolerance issues. How could you handle life after phenibut and always knowing how amazing and good life was with just using this little magic powder called phenibut. I will always remember that and, damn, I already miss it and a lot of people will miss me on phenibut too, that’s for sure. Welcome back depression, social anxiety, lethargy, loneliness, big cognitive and physiological dysfunctionality and so on and so forth.
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2020.09.23 19:31 MarkdownShadowBot Removed comments/submissions for /u/LORD_ALPHA_CHARIZARD

Hi LORD_ALPHA_CHARIZARD, you're not shadowbanned, but 16 of your most recent 113 comments/submissions were removed (either automatically or by human moderators).


g6bxza7 in IncelsWithoutHate on 23 Sep 20 (1pts):
You’re a cunt buddy. Go fuck yourself subhuman
g5w5mog in MensLib on 20 Sep 20 (1pts):
That's because the phrase gets tossed around so freely, especially online, that nearly everything we do, or don't do, is attributed to it. Agreed. There doesn’t really seem to be some consistently...
g3vtaoe in MensLib on 03 Sep 20 (1pts):
It’s the macho tough guy versus the benevolent protector More like some handicapped orange person vs some guy who has at least some redeeming qualities
g3i0zbc in AgainstHateSubreddits on 31 Aug 20 (1pts):
Lmfao oh god
g3he1ip in AgainstHateSubreddits on 31 Aug 20 (1pts):
Friendly neighbourhood incel here. I’d say I’m relatively left-leaning and I’m against the shit that’s been quoted from that thread. Not all MGTOWs, incels, MRAs, etc are the same, although I can...
g3hcijq in AgainstHateSubreddits on 31 Aug 20 (1pts):
I think I remember someone was saying she was 15. How the fuck can you contribute to mass hate against a vulnerable 15 year old and think it’s ok???? Those people are cunts (I mean, in a non-hateful...
g35t6qg in MensLib on 28 Aug 20 (0pts):
K so a number of communities and hobbies come to mind
  1. There’s a skinhead meet-up group I regularly attend with a focus on the community and giving back. We’ve also recently started a book club,...
g2xaizm in IncelsWithoutHate on 26 Aug 20 (1pts):
As a 6’1 male, I can say for certain that you’re wrong about this. Height doesn’t actually matter apart from all the female attention I’ve had because of it. And like, the nice feeling of being tall...
g1aaznk in MensLib on 13 Aug 20 (1pts):
Wearing a mask is actually pretty gay surprisingly. I honestly didn’t expect it would be, but about 4 days in I was experiencing urges I’d never felt before, and by the end of the week you bet some...
g0y80fn in IncelTear on 10 Aug 20 (1pts):
Fair. I was just joking. Not trying to upset anyone
g0y6wmt in IncelTear on 10 Aug 20 (-3pts):
You are no fun. Can you at least pretend to be bothered by what I just said. Ugh


ijxx7b in TheMonkeysPaw on 31 Aug 20 (1pts):
I want to use you to play with my bumhole monkey paw
i6zajb in MensRights on 10 Aug 20 (3pts):
KAM girls
fuhfi8 in IncelsWithoutHate on 03 Apr 20 (1pts):
Average US male height is 69”
ftzfg2 in IncelsWithoutHate on 03 Apr 20 (1pts):
Average height of US male is 69”
e0t2m3 in IncelsWithoutHate on 24 Nov 19 (1pts):
Silly inkwells, sex isn’t important
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2020.09.23 19:29 kasiavaug Am i just wasting his time?

I'm 22 year old female, & He's a 24 year old male. We first got together in 2014 when i was 15, & he was 17. Everything was so fantastic, god i miss those times so much. I honestly cant tell you where the change in our relationship happened, it kinda hit me in the face realizing things were bad. Long story short. Weve been together for 6 almost 7 years now. & we got pregnant back in September of 2019, & i lost the baby in October of that same year. In December we decided we were going to give caming a try together. It wasnt his thing but i still really wanted to do it. He wasnt for it, but i still did it anyway. I was selling personal videos of myself to someone, & exchanging racey messages online. During that time i was also exchanging videos with a coworker from work. I hid it all from him until he found out in May of 2019. He was done at first but we managed to work it out because i was 10 weeks pregnant again with our daughter. Things were going great not perfect but pretty freaking great for about a year. Our daughter was born right at the beginning of the covid pandemic, so we thought it was the best idea for me to stay home & take care of the baby. That happened for 6 months, then i really started to feel trapped (not by my daughter i love her more than anything) by the house & the everyday routine. So now here we are Sept. 2020. I caught a drink with a few coworkers after work. I started talking with another male coworker, he walked me back to my car. & we kissed. The next weekend the same scenario we all caught a drink, he walked me back to my car, & we kissed. I told him this couldnt happen anymore, & he mutually agreed. I went home that night & told my fiance about it. Well, partly at first. I only told him about the first time. He broke it off we talked we were back on, & were going to try to work through this. He kept digging at me that i was downplaying the situation. So i told him the rest. He absoulty lost it. I dont want to get into the details of everything that happened in that moment, but it just made me realise how bad i destoryed this man. He is no longer the person i fell in love with, & i caused this to happen to him. I leave for work a few hours later. While im at work i keep thinking, why do i keep doing this to him. I had absoulty no intentions of this happening & it did. I want to tell him it wont happen again, but i dont know if it would or would not, Because i had no intentions of it happening the 2nd time. At this point i feel like its completely unfair to him & our daughter that i want to try to make our relationship work, just because i dont know who i am anymore. So while im at work he texted me saying how much he loves me & he really wants to make this work & that he has issues he needs to work on & is begging me to try to make this work with him. My heart is completely broken, because earlier he begged me to leave him because im killing him, but he just cant leave me. Im broken hearted because at this point, i only think hes comfterable, & just in love with the idea of being with me. I tell him i cant keep doing this to him anymore. Its not fair that I'm unintentionally dragging him through the dirt when i dont know what im doing anymore or who i am. At that moment all i thought the right thing to do was just cut him free so he can start healing, & stop wasting his time. He refused & i said we would talk about it when i got home from work that night. When i got home he kept saying that hes sorry he pushed me away & that he needs to work on himself & that he wants me there to do that. I told him i need to work on myself, & that its just not fair to him that im trying to love him when im so lost myself right now. He kept begging me to let him help me, & i kept telling him i dont even know how to help myself at this point. I tried to break it off to find myself, & he begged me not to leave him. Im absoulty in love with this man, & i want this to work more than anything, but why do i keep cheating on him? Why do i do the things that i do? I told him if he really wants to be by my side while i figure myself out, that i need a break from the relationship. He hesitantly agreed. & now here we are today on our first day of our break still living together trying to figure out myself & take care of my daughter the best i can. He agreed we'd do couples councling, which im greatful for. So if you've gotten this far in your probably thinking to yourself WOW. That girl is a POS. Yeah i know. I hate myself more than anything right now. Basically what im asking is wtf is wrong with me? Why do i keep doing this to him? Am i wasting his time & hurting him even more with this break? If we do try to work this out, are we ever going to be okay again? I'm so lost & hurt. Im in desperate need of advice. Thank you to everyone who comments.
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2020.09.23 19:21 Substantial-Tune6233 The most conflicted virgin ever

I a 19yr old girl and I wanna lose it I do. I don’t feel peer pressured at all and in some ways I feel like I’m totally ready and in others I feel totally lost and like I want to run and hide. For example I feel confident in myself but not in my body (I’m overweight and have obvious stretch marks that I don’t know if they fade or not and worry that this might make whoever I have sex with uncomfortable).
But my desire to do it has just overtaken my anxiety so I joined tinder. Not going to lie the photos I used are of when I was much skinnier (I have childhood trauma that made me stress eat) but I want to believe I still look like that when I don’t. I’ve talked to heaps of guys on their and snapped them so they’ve seen my face but I’ve always made up excuses and end up ghosting them when it comes to them asking me on a date because I worry that:
A: they will expect sex when I may not want to B: they won’t want to have sex because I’m a virgin C: they won’t find me attractive or think I look nothing like my photos
I also have obviously never had a one night stand before and I’m open to either casual or something serious but I have a strict Mum who’s awkward when it comes to discussing this stuff who I live with who would freak if she saw a guy come over and I would have to lie to her if I went to stay at a guy’s house so it’s not ideal.
This anxiety has been a big pain and I think I blew it with this great guy Tom* (doesn’t know I’m a virgin) who was super sweet and smart and liked the same things I like (he even said happy birthday to me) but because I’m insecure I have resulted to ghosting him. It’s a vicious cycle and I know I’m being so cruel and rude but I just don’t know what to do. So here are my questions that really need answering/advice on:
  1. Should I delete tinder and focus on losing weight so I feel more comfortable in myself before I get back out there?
  2. Should I just say screw the system and go out and feel beautiful and have the “if you don’t like my body then that’s not my problem” kinda attitude
  3. Should I contact Tom and say I’m so sorry for ghosting and explain honestly how I’m feeling (being nervous about my virginity etc.) and that if he forgives me I’d like to go out with him (in the hopes that he won’t reject me but god I definitely wouldn’t blame him if he did)?
Pls help thank you
submitted by Substantial-Tune6233 to virgin [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 18:55 IndieheadsAOTY Album of the Year 2014 #23: Chris Farren - Like a Gift From God Or Whatever

Hey y'all! Welcome back to Album of the Year 2014, our daily writing series on some of our user's favorite records from 2014! Today we have a special holiday writeup with u/whatsanillinois discussing another perfect album from Chris Farren, Like a Gift From God Or Whatever!
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When Christopher Richard Farren, better known by the nickname “Chris,” was born on April 29, 1986, the doctor looked at him in awe. Never in their professional career had they seen a baby born with such stunning good looks. Throughout his childhood, Farren lived a mostly normal life despite his sheer attractiveness and inability to keep people from swooning at the sight of him. As a child, Farren lived alone with his mother in Naples, Florida where he would become the class clown and the comic among his group of friends, incorporating comedy into his everyday life. Simply put, he was the funny one. As he grew into his teens, Farren placed less of an emphasis on comedy and focused on his newfound passion for music. He talks about this shift in an interview with MTV
My mom always tells me this story where one day I came into her room said, 'I'm not funny anymore,' when I was 15 or something. And it was a choice I was making. Like, 'I'm Mr. Serious now.'
In 2005 Farren formed his first indie/punk/whatever band Fake Problems with a group of childhood friends. The band was active for nearly ten years and released three studio albums before breaking up in 2014. They released their final album Real Ghosts Caught on Tape on SideOneDummy in 2010 to mostly positive reviews. The band gained modest attention in punk circles and their track “Song for Teenagers” blew up, prominently being featured on MTV alongside a few other of the band’s music videos. The band played on tours with bands such as Against Me!, Bomb the Music Industry, AJJ, and were even part of the Vans Warped Tour. Fake Problems is a far cry from the Farren we know today, as he was still focusing on the serious persona that he believed would assure him success in the music industry.
After Fake Problems broke up, Farren experienced a quiet and sombre few years as he assessed the reasons that had caused his band to dissolve and attempted to come to terms with his position as a musician. During this time Farren found solace in the company of Jeff Rosenstock, whose band had also broken up the same year. The two began making music together and Farren’s carefree personality began to once again shine as the duo released Soulmate Stuff, the first album under the stage name Antarctigo Vespucci in April of 2014. On Halloween of the same year, the duo continued releasing music with their I’m So Tethered EP. These releases quickly gained traction and put Farren in the spotlight to release his debut album, a quirky but personal Christmas album titled Like a Gift from God or Whatever.
Review by whatsanillinois
As I begin mocking up this writeup, the clock cozied in the bottom right corner of my computer screen reads 12:20 AM on September 10th, 2020. It’s that time of year where we transition from the sweaty t-shirts and suntanned skin of the unbearably hot summer months, and begin to welcome the gentle wind chills and sweater weather of autumn. I’m watching from home as schools begin to open despite the painfully obvious outcome. Five of the major high schools in my city have already experienced COVID outbreaks less than a week into class. It’s disheartening to watch our government cut funding for schools that could have helped prevent problems like this from arising. Fall has always been a bittersweet season for me, as I witness any joy that the freedom and warmth of summer have given me slowly fade away. The trees that provided me reprieve from the beating sun are losing their leaves — their ability to protect me. The warm evening walks I would take to clear my mind become less feasible as the cold nips at my fingers and my nose. It feels less of a full season and more of a transitional period to something worse. But still, as I take those evening walks, the early setting sun shines perfectly off the golden leaves. Maybe everything is going to be alright.
Sadly, living in Canada near the Rocky Mountains, our autumn chills quickly form into winter storms and any beauty is promptly swept away by mountains of snow. There's little time to appreciate autumn before sweater weather gives way to thick hats, suffocating scarfs, puffy jackets, and clunky snow boots. It’s hard and awkward to move around, and as I look in the mirror to admire my winter getup, I feel like I’m Maggie Simpson wearing her winter jacket. There are years where the sidewalks would be lined with snow and the roads messily filled with slush in the first week of September. But for all of the curses that have been cast upon us this year, at least the world is giving us at least a few more weeks of pre-winter serenity.
But despite my hopes and wishes, winter eventually arrives and I’m the same old grouch about it as I always am. I wake up, I stare out the window praying that it didn’t snow. Goddammit. I walk outside, frustratedly shovel the snow, and continue with my day. I get home. It’s been snowing all day. I reluctantly put on my boots, strap into my winter coat and head outside with my trusty shovel once more. It’s a never-ending cycle, and before December even hits, the winter steals whatever passion or happiness that I had left. But hey, it’s only going to be like this for six months of the year, so no biggie, right?
As we do approach December, the tone changes and the media we consume slowly begins to shift from our radio top hits to classic holiday songs sung in the style of the ever attractive Michael Bublé. It feels like these songs of hope and joy begin getting shoved down our throats at the exact time where most of us decide that we’re done with the winter. Like somehow playing these overproduced and obnoxious carols on repeat will somehow cheer us up and ease our qualms. And don’t get me wrong, there are some bangers in there (looking at you “Christmas Tree Farm” by Taylor Swift), but for every “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” there are ten “Wonderful Christmastime”s.
Growing up in a Christian household, there was never much question as to why Christmas music predominated over any other religion or holiday. I recall my elementary school gathering in the gymnasium on the days leading up to winter break to sing songs about Christmas Trees and baby Jesus and all sort of Catholic iconography with no mention of any other religious holiday happening at the time. Maybe it’s because for most of my life I’ve lived in a wealthy, white, and super religious neighbourhood. Maybe it’s the widely Eurocentric viewpoints that dominate North American culture, but It’s not something I’ve ever thought about until recently.
But despite all this, I can’t shake the undeniable charm that much Christmas music has. Every year I seek out Christmas music that I haven’t heard from many of my favourite artists. I find that I’m often left disappointed by the number of covers of classic hymns and jingles and the general lack of original music. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice change of pace to hear artists that I actually like covering these songs that are so ingrained in my mind, but they still suffer from the trite nature of the songs because they are so vehemently overplayed. There are very few Christmas albums that truly capture the feelings of the holiday season. We create a façade that this whimsical day and the weeks leading up to and following it will somehow cure us from whatever plagues us and the inevitable seasonal depression that accompanies the bleak colour palette of the outside world. Like the changing of calendars accompanying a new year will suddenly mend the societal problems that we’re facing. Especially now, I feel like I’m seeing so much “2020 sucks” or “I can’t wait for 2020 to be over” like the consequences of this year’s happenings won’t carry over and continue to impact our lives once we revert back to January 1st. So whenever I hear a Christmas album ignore the realities that many of us face during the season, I can’t help but roll my eyes. Of course, it’s not my place to say how people should feel about and celebrate their holiday, but it all just feels a bit disingenuous to me. Because of this, on those odd occasions where I find a Christmas album that still celebrates the togetherness that the holidays bring while feeling grounded in the often depressing reality of the winter, I’m all over it.
A few years ago as I was preparing to shovel the remains of a particularly intense blizzard, I was browsing the home screen on my Spotify app, and in a once-in-a-lifetime event, it actually recommended me something good. Shining like Christmas lights on a middle-upper class suburban house on a late December night was the Chris Farren album Like a Gift from God or Whatever. At the time I only knew Farren as Jeff Rosenstock’s quirky friend, and took a chance on an album I predicted I would certainly hate. Good God was I ever wrong. It feels strange and frankly insulting to claim that an artist’s best work is a Christmas album, but with Like a Gift from God or Whatever Farren set such an incredibly high bar that feels nearly impossible to top. Every moment on the album is overflowing with the sincerity that is missing from so many Christmas albums. It’s not afraid to have fun and make some stupid jokes (one of the songs is called “Chris Farren’s Disney’s Frozen” for the love of God!), but in its best moments, Farren isn’t afraid to expose an emotional and earnest side of himself.
It felt much too easy to approach this album by laughing and joking around. Talking about how Chris “the hottest man on Earth” Farren used his hotness to warm me from the winter’s cold, or showcasing the surprisingly hilarious Genius captions for many of the tracks on the albums. Hell, I could have even pulled out the Christmas trivia by telling you that the music video for Guns ‘n’ Roses hit song “Paradise City” was uploaded to YouTube on Christmas day eleven years ago. But focusing on the comedic aspects undermines the heart of the project. Yeah, the album title is funny, and Chris Farren sure looks like a whacky guy on the album cover, but wiping off the layer of snow on top reveals the beauty underneath.
Like a Gift from God or Whatever uses Christmas as a device to communicate a sense of longing and the pains of having to eventually let go. Christmas happens once every 365 days, and for many of us, offers an opportunity to see distant family and our loved ones who may not always be around. Once December 25th passes, we quickly return back to our lives, while leaving our loved ones behind to see once in a blue moon. Farren expands on this idea on the track “I Wish It Was Christmas Every Day” where he confesses his longing for the holiday:
I never feel quite ready
For the scenery to change again
I was just getting used to hearing those
Sleigh bells chiming
Farren counters my aforementioned feelings about welcoming the new year on the track “Happier New Year,” where he convinces himself that the new year offers a reset — a tangible point that he can look towards and strive to better himself. Maybe it’s part of our human nature to try and find this reset point where we’re able to rid of all the shit we’ve been carrying and say to ourselves “okay, this time I’ll do better.” But meanwhile the song also feels like a plea of desperation, begging for the upcoming year to show mercy and provide strength, because how could we possibly handle another year of pain? It feels eerily relevant to how many of us are feeling right now, but I feel like I could probably say that during any given year, this year there’s just some extra emphasis on it.
What’s possibly Farren’s greatest accomplishment on Like a Gift from God or Whatever is one that feels more personal than universal — something that has impacted my life and largely how I view the concluding months of the year. Because without this album, I would probably be stuck in the same slum year by year where I spend multiple months absolutely miserable. Yeah, there are a myriad of things that I can’t stand, but there’s a natural beauty to the season that I have willfully spent years ignorant of. The way the early morning sun reflects off of the clean layer of white after a fresh snowfall, creating a mystical hue that enchants the sky. Or the feeling of crawling inside after an especially chilly day and wrapping myself up in a blanket burrito-style. If anything, it reminds me that I’m human and there are going to be these ups and downs, these changes in seasons. Walking around outside in the sub zero temperatures while listening to this album is an experience like no other, and honestly, it’s the one thing I’m looking forward to for what’s sure to be a long, long winter. Sure, my toes are frozen and my ears are close to falling off, but it makes me feel like I’m alive.
Now, as I return to writing this a couple of weeks after I began, the sky is filled with smoke from the wildfires down south, and the temperature is slowly but surely dropping. A later introduction to winter than most, but I’m welcome to it. It’s drab and dreary outside, the sun bleeds red through the smog, feels a bit dystopian, but hey, that’s oddly fitting right now. I hold out hope every single day that we get some miraculous news that completely fixes all the bullshit and letdowns happening in the world right now, but as I’ve thought more and more about what I actually want to write about this album and the point I want to make, despite how cheesy it sounds, I can’t help but think back to “I Wish It Was Christmas Everyday” and the unreasonable expectations and hopes that we set upon ourselves and the world to malleate and provide some sort of fix or solution to the problems that we’re facing. Sometimes there is no easy solution and life sucks, but there are always those moments, those Christmas Days, that make traversing through whatever life sucks at us just a little bit easier.
Favorite Lyrics
I'm not ready for the questions
That my family's gonna ask of me
"What happened to that pretty girl?
She was so sweet."
Every Christmas Eve
Under the tree I hope you think of me
'Cause like a gift from God or whatever
You stay in my dreams
If all our days are numbered then why are we still counting them?
Another Christmas and you're still mine
Another Christmas for another year
Another Christmas and we're still alive
It's gonna be a better year
I'm gonna have a better year
I'm gonna do everything I've always been so terrified to do
Talking Points
Hell yeah, baby! Thanks again to u/whatsanillinois for a great writeup! Tomorrow we've hopefully got a writeup on either the Voidz or Perfect Pussy going up, we'll know for certain then! As always, discuss today's album in the comments below, where we'll be posting the schedule!
submitted by IndieheadsAOTY to indieheads [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 18:46 TearAggravating7564 Was I A Medium In My Past Life?

Okay..so I don't really know how to start this. I believe in God and not really in reincarnation but lately I have been so confused. Not about my faith but about my experiences. Ever since I was little I've been able to see and sense things. I've never allowed them to really do much though because I don't want to open up anything evil on accident. I'll give a few examples of what I've experienced. So a few months ago, I was home from college visiting my mom and siblings. My car is newer than my mom's so we decided to take a drive up to the store. Just us two. Where she lives is very rural, and almost everywhere is farmland. On our way back from the store, we are talking about glitches in the matrix and weird happenings going on and essentially end times. Then all of a sudden I get this terrible feeling while driving so I stop talking about said things. Then I see a child, about 11 or 12, in an orange t-shirt and grey shorts run into the road, chasing a basketball. It was in a really odd spot too. Like woods on one side and a house on the other but where he was running from was the side with the woods. So why would he be chasing the ball from there? The weirdest part is I swerved out of the way so that I didn't hit him but when I blinked, he was gone. My mom looked at me weird and I just played it off that I saws a squirrel in the road. I looked behind me and nobody was there. Not a ball, not a kid, nothing. Another instance is that I had just moved into a house and had pile of clothing in the corner of my room. Everyone was outside for our "house welcoming party." I walked into my new bedroom alone and saw a little girl sitting in the pile of clothes all alone and crying. I couldn't see her face but I felt complete dread wash over me. I went outside and let my mom know there was somebody's kid in my room crying. That's how real it looked and felt to me. But when we went inside, she wasn't there anymore, and she wasn't at the party at all we realized. Another instance is that I woke up in the middle of the night to get water and use the bathroom when I felt sadness consume me. The purest form of sadness I had ever felt. I looked around me and in the living room, I saw a man in an orange jumpsuit hanging from our ceiling fan. Two months later, my step-father went to prison. He's alive but it scares me for his sake. There are lesser instances as well where I'll just see a shadow and I'll feel like it's okay to be nearby and I'll let it be, and instances where I'll see a shadow and feel dread and horror and in those moments, I'll rebuke it in the name of Jesus and it'll go away. And it happens everywhere. I'll be at work, sitting and see a shadow nearby, look up, and it'll disappear. Sometimes things go missing and I feel like they're trying to get my attention. IDK what this all means but can somebody help me?
submitted by TearAggravating7564 to pastlives [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 18:34 donoho-59 Need Some Resources to Convince my Family that Homosexuality Isn't a Sin

Hey, folks! My family back in rural Illinois recently took in an exchange student and it turns out that she's gay. She came out to them the other day and they were very excepting and not rude at all. They have many gay friends and my dad's adoptive sister is even gay, but they still hold onto the "we accept it and love them anyway, but it is a sin," mentality. I'm especially worried because the church they go to preaches that a lot and the young girl that they took in is very sensitive and only recently came to terms with her own sexuality after suffering sever self esteem issues because she was ashamed of her gayness. I told my mom that I wanted to have a talk with them to explain why I think their view is wrong and damaging, and I know a bit about it, but I could really use some more resources! My dad especially really values the idea of taking things to their original translation and he's a big Ray Van Der Lan fan if you've ever heard his work. I'm planning to kind of approach it from both a semantic argument about mistranslation, and a conceptual argument to show that it doesn't make any conceptual sense for God to oppose homosexuality in any way.
Any help is much appreciated! Thanks!
submitted by donoho-59 to RadicalChristianity [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 18:27 ImpalaLed I don't know what I want anymore, but I know what I don't want.

I'll admit that I have core issues of my own to deal with before I can expect to make any progress in meeting someone. I need to get over my crippling self-doubt and social anxiety. I can't outright cure my depression once and for all, but I can't let it control me. It's completely okay that I may not have a lot of dating experience or that I may feel nervous because I am not the world's greatest lover. If everything I am hearing from others is true, whatever supposed shortcomings I may feel I have won't matter if I am able to find someone who has the same amount of mutual love and respect for me. Part of what makes a relationship meaningful is helping one another overcome obstacles and growing together. Yeah, I may be a cynical misanthropic asshole, but I do still believe some of this positivity crap. Or at least I am hoping it is all true for my sake.
That being said, I guess I just have to own the fact that I am and have always been an "indoor kid" with geeky tendencies. Just because I never cared for sports or things like camping, hiking, fishing, etc. that doesn't mean that there aren't plenty of other adults my age who are the same way. I can't believe I am the only 40-something in the whole world who is still in an extended adolescence. There has to be plenty of folks who still enjoy video games and comic books. The internet is full of people who are incredibly passionate about movies and music and their age is irrelevant. I shouldn't feel like I am unworthy of love, just because I didn't go to college or that I haven't traveled. It doesn't make me any less interesting or any less deserving of a chance to be happy.
Unfortunately, I do find myself in a situation where it seems like I am unable to find any like-minded people. I am more Liberal than most of my family and coworkers and I am unapologetically Atheist. It's not to say I cannot be friends with Conservatives or religious people, but it could mean that I may not be seen as a good match with someone with strongly held opposing beliefs. I do know I have no interest in associating with extreme far-Right Conservative Christian Evangelicals and/or those who see absolutely nothing wrong with Trump. Those are things I can't budge on and given my lack of interest in faith or religion, I probably would just end up offending most people of faith, if they got to know me better.
I have had plenty of people tell me I am wrong for having this stance, but I don't agree. You really expect me to believe that a woman who believes in god and the concept of a soul and an afterlife is really going to want to become intimately involved with someone who openly calls religion bullshit? I'd imagine that most religious people ultimately want to settle down with someone who has the same values and faith. Most people who take their religion seriously, kinda feel obligated to get married, have kids, and raise their families in the church. I really don't know of many people who say, "Yeah, I believe in god, but it doesn't matter." How the fuck does that work? You may as well not believe if it doesn't matter to you. I don't know, maybe there are plenty of happy relationships between deeply Conservative bible-thumpers and bleeding heart Liberal heathens. I'm sure that religion is never an issue of contention for those couples, ever. I mean, I am getting so many likes on OLD sites from women who have things like, "Jesus First" in the profiles. (NOT!)
As for the Trump stuff, bottom line, I think the man is a raging lunatic and a complete disaster. I see nothing redeemable in him and I honestly have no respect for the people who continuously defend him, no matter what. He's a disgrace and people who like him should be ashamed. I won't budge on it and I won't apologize. I have never been deeply inspired by any politician, not even Obama, but I at least respected him and didn't find myself die inside a little more every time I'd hear his voice.
So, yeah, I know what sort of things I feel are deal breakers for me or what could be seen as red flags by others. I'm not terribly obsessed with looks, but I do know what I find attractive. I value things like a really good sense of humor, the ability to hold a conversation, enough mutual interests so we can enjoy things together, and being open and honest with each other. Nothing too pretentious or egregious there. I'm sure it's the sort of things most people want in a potential match.
I've never been a casual dater and I tend to be more monogamous, but that doesn't mean that if I met someone who essentially was like, "Hey, I am not in any rush to settle down or move in together. I don't have any interest in having kids with you or meeting each other's family. I am fine with keeping it casual in the sense that I'll be expecting a ring at any point in the near future either. I'm happy to focus on each other, enjoy one another's company, and have fun doing things together. If things really get serious, I'm game. I can be emotionally available and open, but that doesn't mean that this is the end."
I don't know, if that is what counts as causal these days or if it really means just hooking up randomly. I am not looking for that. Although, there was a time I would have been more into it.
I do know I am not really sure if I want kids. The whole "picket fence American Dream" was never something I saw for myself. I am in a situation right now where I could, if I had the money and gumption, move away from where I am now. If I felt like it wouldn't be a disaster, I'd say I would move out to LA and try to get into filmmaking, editing, music production, etc. My two biggest passions are films and music and I would so fucking love a career in that field. I just have no experience or education and I have no fucking confidence in myself to make such a bold move. I wouldn't even know where to start. That being said, getting a house and two kids, going to soccer practice on weekends, and having family over for Sunday dinner isn't where I can see myself at any time soon. I don't know if it will ever be in my future, I don't think I want it to be.
If the world was fair and I could get whatever I wanted, I'd be dating a Suicide Girl (I have a few in particular in mind), I'd be directing music videos for incredible Indie bands, and contributing song suggestions to incredibly iconic film soundtracks. I'd be friends with stand-up comedians and living in a modest house, someplace warmer. Right now, I am working in a job I don't care for, surrounded by coworkers I can't relate to. I have a challenging relationship with most of my family and no friends at all. I live alone with a cat and spend my time off in front of the TV during the day and, not often, laying in the dark, listening to music while high. I don't care to go to church on Sundays and I am not looking to donate to some sort of "pro-life" organization. It'd be a miracle to get me out of the apartment in the first place, but if I were to hit the streets in support of a cause, it would be something like allying myself with the LGBTQIA+ community or something like civil rights and equality for all. I'd be attending meetings for secular organizations, like Center For Inquiry. I'd be going to concerts on Saturday night and sleeping in on Sundays.
I doubt that's the sort of man most women my age are looking for, even if I wasn't so unsure of myself and desperate. I honestly just don't feel like there is anything out there for me any more.
submitted by ImpalaLed to depression [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 18:25 slimbitchy She judged me for my sexuality then apologized and wants to date me. Should I give her a chance?

To give a background I’m a 25 year old bisexual who stays away from gays. Reason is because I’ve been been verbally abused by them and judged by them since I came out at 14 as bisexual. Being around them triggers these horrible memories of being bullied so I stay away which normally isn’t an issue since most of them don’t want anything to do with us from my experience. This girl I met a while back is interested in me. The first time we met I find out shes gay and low and behold she started judging me because I’m bi. Accused me of having multiple sex partners and not wanting to settle down. All the while I found this to be laughable because I’m still a Virgin at 25 and I’ve never dated anyone due to my mental health spiraling all my life (but im better now because of help thank god). Her opinions and judgements of me were so far from the truth that I thought she was having a nightmare about someone who wasn’t me. This was about a year ago. Fast forward to now and she hung out with people that knew me and while I never hung out with her I knew her through other people. She got to hear everything about me. The fact that I’m saving my virginity for the right person because I wasn’t interested in giving it to the wrong person. The fact that I’m not interested in casual sex or threesomes and I believe in monogamy. The fact that I believe in dating to marry. The fact that I can cook. The fact that I take care of my health all around. The fact that I’ve got many things going for myself like school and a steady job and I save my money. (I don’t mind my friends sharing this with anyone because I’m secure with myself). Can you believe she tried to start talking to me again and apologized? She said she’s sorry for judging me in the first place, that she was wrong and that I sound like “wifey material”. She wants to take me out now to get to know me. Part of me wants to tell her to fuck off but another part of me doesn’t. She’s pretty but I don’t date someone only because they have a pretty face. Personality is a huge factor. I don’t know what the hell to do and I want to know what others would do in my situation. It was so unexpected and I’m in awe still.
submitted by slimbitchy to bisexual [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 18:10 Artesal My GF (24yo) keeps having blue days because she can't cope with the idea of death

Recently I noticed how my GF has this bad mood from time to time. Usually she's uplifting and happy go lucky girl, but more and more I see her brooding and lost in her thoughts.
I kept pushing to find out what is wrong and one night she finally said in tears that from some time she can't cope with the idea of death. That the idea of losing parents or me is frightening to her and it starts to affect her mood or sleep. It's nothing too serious, she's still this happy and functioning person as always but those instants are kinda worrying to me.
She's jealous of her catholic parents because in her opinion they have a sort of spiritual and psychological support by believing in God and assurance that there's a greater purpose or life after death. She feels this sadness that quite soon she'll be dead in the ground with worms and nothing actually matters.
I did share to her my perspective (that we should look at it in a more positive way, that it's a miracle that we're alive and we should celebrate that), I did listen to her as much as I can and try to console her in most ways I can.
I guess it's one of those things that a person has to chew for himself and try to make it sense but how can I help her? She actually took 3 visits to therapist but because we're quite poor atm and they're super expensive, she can't go any more for now. What books can you recommend? Any ideas? She keeps mentiong interest in buddhism, that maybe there she can find some new perspective. Maybe that's some direction.
submitted by Artesal to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 17:46 Yknot4Naut Today is either the last house on the block or the road forward.

Today at 1PM EST i am going for the first of 6 ketamine Infusion therapy sessions. I am hopefully going to document my story and any progress here for the benefit of you and so I can see if there is any change in me.
My expectation for the therapy is not that it will “cure” me, but that it will give me an opening to help myself. Once a year or two for a week or less my depression lifts and it’s f’ing amazing! I feel like I can be or do anything! I’m naturally kind to people, make good choices and feel connected to god. My hope is that this therapy is going to hold that window open for a longer period so I can make some progress. It’ll be up to me to seal therapy, listen to motivating stuff, work the steps, etc from there, but if I can get that Window, I will do my side of the work.
However, at this point I have taken every course, exercises or not, lost weight, lifted weights, taken tons of different anti-depressants (none work, except Wellbutrin which works for exactly 1 day, no joke), gone to retreats (I got humiliated by the STAR staff because I acted out just as I am), done wilderness survival, 30 different kinds of therapy, and everything else you can try. So if this doesn’t work, I’m done. .
I am 55 years old. I have suffered from acute depression as long as I can remember. Yes I had bad things happen to me, but I believe that has nothing to do with depression, that’s sadness. I am depressed if I get the girl, lose the girl, win the lotto, lose everything I have, it doesn’t make a difference. If getting those things makes you happy, then good news, you’re not depressed, just sad, so take some pills, get the girl, make some money and help someone else and you’ll be fine. None of that would make a difference for me.
I describe my depression as a constant weight hanging around my soul. It is also a second person who is with me 24hrs a day to keep a nonstop running dialog to remind me, “you are a piece of shit, waste of life, pathetic, a loser, an asshole, nobody likes you, your a failure at everything, your hopeless, your even too much of a pussy to kill yourself.”
My emotions range from disconnected, to angry to abject sadness. I don’t have anyone who loves me because I can’t love anyone. And because I am so disconnected, I am mean to people, most often, without even knowing it.
I have no friends except people who live far away and prefer me at a distance. I have been all over and done tons of stuff and not enjoyed a minute of it. I’ve lost all interest in having sex, but I will do a lackluster spank of the baloney as an addiction as opposed to enjoyment.
I quit smoking, but think constantly about smoking. I’ve been clean and sober for ten years without anyone wanting me to sponsor them, or making any progress, having no friends, no spiritual awakening, and I could pick up tomorrow no problem.
The best choice I made in my life was not having kids so I didn’t pass my genes on, the worst was getting married. My wife is an amazing tolerant person, the mistake was not her. The mistake was that I knew what I am and for all these years I have been dragging her down lower and lower. I knew I shouldn’t burden anyone with me and I did it anyway. If this doesn’t work I have to find a set of balls to do what I should have done years ago, so she at least profits in some way from being drug through the mud with me.
So, I’ll try to post and let you know how it goes. Either I will have great news to share three weeks from now or I’ll no longer be posting shortly thereafter.
Wish us luck!
submitted by Yknot4Naut to depression [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 17:45 Yknot4Naut Today is either the last house on the block or the road forward.

Today at 1PM EST i am going for the first of 6 ketamine Infusion therapy sessions. I am hopefully going to document my story and any progress here for the benefit of you and so I can see if there is any change in me.
My expectation for the therapy is not that it will “cure” me, but that it will give me an opening to help myself. Once a year or two for a week or less my depression lifts and it’s f’ing amazing! I feel like I can be or do anything! I’m naturally kind to people, make good choices and feel connected to god. My hope is that this therapy is going to hold that window open for a longer period so I can make some progress. It’ll be up to me to seal therapy, listen to motivating stuff, work the steps, etc from there, but if I can get that Window, I will do my side of the work.
However, at this point I have taken every course, exercises or not, lost weight, lifted weights, taken tons of different anti-depressants (none work, except Wellbutrin which works for exactly 1 day, no joke), gone to retreats (I got humiliated by the STAR staff because I acted out just as I am), done wilderness survival, 30 different kinds of therapy, and everything else you can try. So if this doesn’t work, I’m done. .
I am 55 years old. I have suffered from acute depression as long as I can remember. Yes I had bad things happen to me, but I believe that has nothing to do with depression, that’s sadness. I am depressed if I get the girl, lose the girl, win the lotto, lose everything I have, it doesn’t make a difference. If getting those things makes you happy, then good news, you’re not depressed, just sad, so take some pills, get the girl, make some money and help someone else and you’ll be fine. None of that would make a difference for me.
I describe my depression as a constant weight hanging around my soul. It is also a second person who is with me 24hrs a day to keep a nonstop running dialog to remind me, “you are a piece of shit, waste of life, pathetic, a loser, an asshole, nobody likes you, your a failure at everything, your hopeless, your even too much of a pussy to kill yourself.”
My emotions range from disconnected, to angry to abject sadness. I don’t have anyone who loves me because I can’t love anyone. And because I am so disconnected, I am mean to people, most often, without even knowing it.
I have no friends except people who live far away and prefer me at a distance. I have been all over and done tons of stuff and not enjoyed a minute of it. I’ve lost all interest in having sex, but I will do a lackluster spank of the baloney as an addiction as opposed to enjoyment.
I quit smoking, but think constantly about smoking. I’ve been clean and sober for ten years without anyone wanting me to sponsor them, or making any progress, having no friends, no spiritual awakening, and I could pick up tomorrow no problem.
The best choice I made in my life was not having kids so I didn’t pass my genes on, the worst was getting married. My wife is an amazing tolerant person, the mistake was not her. The mistake was that I knew what I am and for all these years I have been dragging her down lower and lower. I knew I shouldn’t burden anyone with me and I did it anyway. If this doesn’t work I have to find a set of balls to do what I should have done years ago, so she at least profits in some way from being drug through the mud with me.
So, I’ll try to post and let you know how it goes. Either I will have great news to share three weeks from now or I’ll no longer be posting shortly thereafter.
Wish us luck!
submitted by Yknot4Naut to depression_help [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 17:44 Yknot4Naut Today is either the last house on the block or the road forward.

Today at 1PM EST i am going for the first of 6 ketamine Infusion therapy sessions. I am hopefully going to document my story and any progress here for the benefit of you and so I can see if there is any change in me.
My expectation for the therapy is not that it will “cure” me, but that it will give me an opening to help myself. Once a year or two for a week or less my depression lifts and it’s f’ing amazing! I feel like I can be or do anything! I’m naturally kind to people, make good choices and feel connected to god. My hope is that this therapy is going to hold that window open for a longer period so I can make some progress. It’ll be up to me to seal therapy, listen to motivating stuff, work the steps, etc from there, but if I can get that Window, I will do my side of the work.
However, at this point I have taken every course, exercises or not, lost weight, lifted weights, taken tons of different anti-depressants (none work, except Wellbutrin which works for exactly 1 day, no joke), gone to retreats (I got humiliated by the STAR staff because I acted out just as I am), done wilderness survival, 30 different kinds of therapy, and everything else you can try. So if this doesn’t work, I’m done. .
I am 55 years old. I have suffered from acute depression as long as I can remember. Yes I had bad things happen to me, but I believe that has nothing to do with depression, that’s sadness. I am depressed if I get the girl, lose the girl, win the lotto, lose everything I have, it doesn’t make a difference. If getting those things makes you happy, then good news, you’re not depressed, just sad, so take some pills, get the girl, make some money and help someone else and you’ll be fine. None of that would make a difference for me.
I describe my depression as a constant weight hanging around my soul. It is also a second person who is with me 24hrs a day to keep a nonstop running dialog to remind me, “you are a piece of shit, waste of life, pathetic, a loser, an asshole, nobody likes you, your a failure at everything, your hopeless, your even too much of a pussy to kill yourself.”
My emotions range from disconnected, to angry to abject sadness. I don’t have anyone who loves me because I can’t love anyone. And because I am so disconnected, I am mean to people, most often, without even knowing it.
I have no friends except people who live far away and prefer me at a distance. I have been all over and done tons of stuff and not enjoyed a minute of it. I’ve lost all interest in having sex, but I will do a lackluster spank of the baloney as an addiction as opposed to enjoyment.
I quit smoking, but think constantly about smoking. I’ve been clean and sober for ten years without anyone wanting me to sponsor them, or making any progress, having no friends, no spiritual awakening, and I could pick up tomorrow no problem.
The best choice I made in my life was not having kids so I didn’t pass my genes on, the worst was getting married. My wife is an amazing tolerant person, the mistake was not her. The mistake was that I knew what I am and for all these years I have been dragging her down lower and lower. I knew I shouldn’t burden anyone with me and I did it anyway. If this doesn’t work I have to find a set of balls to do what I should have done years ago, so she at least profits in some way from being drug through the mud with me.
So, I’ll try to post and let you know how it goes. Either I will have great news to share three weeks from now or I’ll no longer be posting shortly thereafter.
Wish us luck!
submitted by Yknot4Naut to depressionregimens [link] [comments]


Struggling from one addiction to the other. Trying to refocusing my brain on more positive qualities in life every time I get a craving. Not easy!
I caved yesterday bought another pack of those Marlboro’s. Stared at them for a long while, twirling the lighter in my hand. When I pulled one out an brought it to my lips I had this voice in my head saying don’t don’t put it down. I was hesitant on lighting the flame. I tried talking myself out of it. Putting it in the pack and throwing in the passenger seat two, three and now four times.
Then I did it.... one drag after the next. The demon won this time I felt so much regret after. Begging God to help me be stronger next time.
This morning taking my daughter to school I gazed at the pack. Over and over! Telling myself NO! My lungs still sore each breathe I take from yesterday’s moment of weakness. It’s haunting me every second now that I haven’t lit a flame to that long white demon today.
I wanna scream! I feel so consumed from each addiction to the next. It’s hard to stay focused on being the one in control. From cigarettes to that bitter sweet taste of crown to each intense thrust of intercourse to each agonizing slit from the razor blade the fuzzy haze oxy fulfills to the burning in my right nostril from the percs I lined up. I’m weak. I’m so weak it all brings me to my knees begging for just a taste of each.
But this morning I didn’t do it I didn’t lit the flame of the white demon. It felt good I think I may go for a jog after the rain this morning. My coffee taste just right! My abdomen is on fire as I sit in this plank over an over each time I think about giving in again. 5 minutes has now tripled this morning.
Any advice on positive directions to take when craving your weakness - it’s like I’m a vampire just dying to sink my teeth in the girl in the corner whom i can smell like she is right in my arms, right under my tongue.
submitted by Cheesecakee_007 to addiction [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 17:16 penelopeduck My coming out letter to my dad.

My (30 cisF) dad and I have had a strained relationship for awhile, in part because he was pretty emotionally abusive and extremely misogynistic growing up. We haven't spoken in many months, and today I sent him a letter that said what I needed to say. This community really helped me to do this, and I am so grateful for you all! I have no expectation that he'll do anything other than cut me out of his life after this, but I needed to at least give him a chance and wash my hands after. The letter is long and personal, but I'm sharing it here in the hope that maybe someone here might feel less alone. Here we go:
I don’t know if you’ll even read this. If you do, I hope you come to it with an open heart and mind.
I am sorry it has taken me so much time to get these words out.
I am sorry I will not ever be the daughter you wanted me to be.
I am sorry our relationship has been incomplete.
I have always wanted to be someone you could be proud of, and I have ravenously craved your love and affection. Many times, growing up, I felt that I had this. When I was being the right amount of feminine, when I was being quiet and subservient, when I agreed with everything you said, things were great between us. I learned from a young age how to make myself unintrusive and how to behave as if I were who you wanted me to be, because I thought that was the right thing to do. Instead, by suppressing any aspect of my personality I knew you would dislike, I prevented us from becoming as close as we might have.
Furthermore, my desperate desire to be only what you wanted me to be kept me from loving myself. How could I, when so much of myself is something even my own father can’t tolerate? I trained myself to believe the parts of me you enjoyed were good, and the parts I didn’t dare share were bad...and I so, so want to be good.
I have done a lot of hard work to see and accept myself. I have been trying these past few years as an adult to repair that imbalance, to be my genuine self around you, testing the water. Now, I have to make peace with the fact that you will never fully accept and love me for who I am.
In a conversation, I feel I have no space to speak my mind. If I say something with which you disagree, I am either steamrolled by an angry tirade or spoken down to as if I were an ornery child. My choices are to shut up and bow down under your opinion, or to be made to feel as if I am not a fully grown person who has done a lot of work to have opinions of her own. Any attempt to step back, redirect the conversation, agree to disagree is met with more anger. I am too old now to simply shut up and pretend to agree when I do not. This is not how people who love one another disagree. This is not a healthy way to speak. It exhausts me and breaks my heart.
When I was young, I hoped you understood me. You accepted the parts of me so many others didn’t: My deep love of Christ and the divine, my creative spirit and desire to write, my enjoyment of adventurous cooking, my passion for working with my hands in nature, my diverse taste in music, discussing Big Ideas... For a long time, I believed this was enough.
The bulk of the weight of the rift in our relationship rests on my shoulders. For hiding from you, for performing a role I was certain you wanted me to fill. I am so sorry. I am not solely responsible, however. I have felt afraid of you and your disapproval for so much of my life that walking in my own shoes feels like freefall at times, but I am who I am and I can’t go back to breaking myself over and over again to please anyone, not ever again.
I am bisexual. My first big crush and love was a girl in middle and high school. I did everything I could to try to wash out that part of myself. Religion, eating disorders (yes, plural; I often struggled with them on and off, ever since the 5th grade), simply ignoring and pushing down things I felt. It has been a part of my identity for as long as I can remember.
This is something I know you cannot abide. Perhaps you will outright deny that it is true. Maybe I am trying to push you, or get attention? Maybe I am confused? You may even think I am possessed by demons. I have imagined the scenario of being honest with you over and over and over again, and there is not one possible outcome I have predicted that has you seeing me for who I am and loving that person. Not one. Yet, here I am, being honest anyway, because I will no longer dishonor you with untruth.
And I will no longer dishonor my own life with it, either. I have been incredibly blessed with a husband who knows me, supports me, and loves me. We have a happy life and closeness with most of the people we love. We try to help make the world better as best we can. There is more to me than loving God and baking, and I will never again be the submissive creature you tried to mold me into.I never really was her; I was just trying to make you happy. I have always, and still, wanted to make you happy.
But I am more than my capacity for obedience. I have worked a long time to be able to see not just my flaws, but my gifts as well. I am empathetic, and giving, and hardworking, and insightful. I am creative. I am resourceful, strong, and loving. I am trying, now, to also learn how to be courageous.
You have five other children, and who knows how many more may come. However you feel about me, please take this to heart: Love them. Love them gently. Show them mercy and grace. Do not flinch away from their flaws and differences as a personal mark of your ability to parent. Do not try to control away the things you do not understand. They, like me, adore you, but also likely fear you. You have time to build a beautiful, strong, deep connection with them. Use it wisely, because you deserve that relationship with your kids, and they need that relationship with their dad.
I will never, ever stop loving you and wanting that relationship with you, myself. I am here, whenever you decide, and if ever you need anything. There will never come a day when I won’t walk into fire for you. This is how I am for the people I love. I like to think I learned some of that from you.
However, I don’t know where I stand on having a relationship with you. The thing is, I won’t settle for anything less than a relationship with the real me, all of me. I don’t ask that you change what you believe or how you see the universe, but I will ask for respect. I ask not to be bludgeoned with angry words. I ask for kindness.
For me, this is not a matter of pride or penance. It is a terms of engagement for my survival. I have come too far to submit to harsh treatment simply for being myself; it is something I just can no longer allow, and it breaks my heart to think that this—this desire to be heard and treated with dignity—will be the line in the sand that you will not cross. I hope for your love and acceptance, but I have seen too much and known you too long to count on it.
I love you, Dad. Whatever else happens
submitted by penelopeduck to bisexual [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 17:09 jw_mentions /r/videos - "Jehovahs Witness Lawyer Lies in Court About Shunning"

I am a bot! Please send NotListeningItsABook a private message with any comments or feedback on how I work.
EDIT: As of Wed Sep 23 18:09:54 UTC 2020, the post is at [46pts8c]

About Post:

--- --- Notes
Submission Jehovahs Witness Lawyer Lies in Court About Shunning
Comments Jehovahs Witness Lawyer Lies in Court About Shunning
Author Unusual-Designer
Subreddit /videos
Posted On Tue Sep 22 23:17:50 UTC 2020
Score 46 as of Wed Sep 23 18:09:54 UTC 2020
Total Comments 22

Post Body:

n/a - not a self post

Related Comments (8):

--- --- Notes
Author Unusual-Designer
Posted On Tue Sep 22 23:18:10 UTC 2020
Score 15 as of Wed Sep 23 18:09:54 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 4
Body link
Figured hey, timing seems about right. Due to this post. https://www.reddit.com/videos/comments/ixl2qy/10_year_old_`jehovahs_witness`_girl_praised_in/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
"… a simple "Hello" to someone can be the first step that develops into a conversation and maybe even a friendship. Would we want to take that first step with a disfellowshiped person?" Watchtower 1981 Sep 15 p.25
Consider just one example of the good that can come when a family loyally upholds Jehovah’s decree not to associate with disfellowshipped relatives. A young man had been disfellowshipped for over ten years, during which time his father, mother, and four brothers “quit mixing in company” with him. At times, he tried to involve himself in their activities, but to their credit, each member of the family was steadfast in not having any contact with him. After he was reinstated, he said that he always missed the association with his family, especially at night when he was alone. But, he admitted, had the family associated with him even a little, that small dose would have satisfied him. However, because he did not receive even the slightest communication from any of his family, the burning desire to be with them became one motivating factor in his restoring his relationship with Jehovah." Watchtower 2012 Apr 15 p.12
-jw on how to drive someone to suicide.
--- --- Notes
Author gorgonfinger
Posted On Wed Sep 23 13:17:13 UTC 2020
Score 1 as of Wed Sep 23 18:09:54 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 1
Body link
Good post.
Quick way of telling who is a jw ............the hand actions. They all do it. Must be a leaned
--- --- Notes
Author -PeterParker-
Posted On Wed Sep 23 05:34:16 UTC 2020
Score -4 as of Wed Sep 23 18:09:54 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 3
Body link
What he is saying is true. As person myself who went through disfellowship because I became atheist, what he is saying is true.
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Author Unusual-Designer
Posted On Wed Sep 23 08:18:31 UTC 2020
Score 6 as of Wed Sep 23 18:09:54 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 2
Body link
Well here a JW lawyer (who is a jw) explains family relations don’t change when one is disfellowshipped. Only spiritual association is affected. This is in court.
The video that made front page today clearly shows the teachings in action as a 10 year old is applauded for shunning her sister. That video is the reality of the “religion.”
--- --- Notes
Author gorgonfinger
Posted On Wed Sep 23 15:26:01 UTC 2020
Score 1 as of Wed Sep 23 18:09:54 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
Internet points mean nothing.
Reddit and YouTube etc are a amazing way of warning people to stay away from this dangerous cult.
People inside the cult need help and resources to understand what mind fucks the watchtower organisation plays with there lives. An example is ; you are bright and have enough money to go to higher education. If you are a jw you will be shunned. Your family will not talk to you. Now Go get a job as a window cleaner. This happens.
--- --- Notes
Author Unusual-Designer
Posted On Wed Sep 23 08:28:04 UTC 2020
Score 4 as of Wed Sep 23 18:09:54 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
Maybe if you live with them or are in a weak jw family. But no. The teachings are, your family ignores you entirely.
"… a simple "Hello" to someone can be the first step that develops into a conversation and maybe even a friendship. Would we want to take that first step with a disfellowshiped person?" Watchtower 1981 Sep 15 p.25
"What if we have a relative or a close friend who is disfellowshipped? Now our loyalty is on the line, not to that person, but to God. Jehovah is watching us to see whether we will abide by his command not to have contact with anyone who is disfellowshipped.—Read 1 Corinthians 5:11-13.
Consider just one example of the good that can come when a family loyally upholds Jehovah’s decree not to associate with disfellowshipped relatives. A young man had been disfellowshipped for over ten years, during which time his father, mother, and four brothers “quit mixing in company” with him. At times, he tried to involve himself in their activities, but to their credit, each member of the family was steadfast in not having any contact with him. After he was reinstated, he said that he always missed the association with his family, especially at night when he was alone. But, he admitted, had the family associated with him even a little, that small dose would have satisfied him. However, because he did not receive even the slightest communication from any of his family, the burning desire to be with them became one motivating factor in his restoring his relationship with Jehovah." Watchtower 2012 Apr 15 p.12
--- --- Notes
Author bitee1
Posted On Wed Sep 23 07:12:04 UTC 2020
Score 6 as of Wed Sep 23 18:09:54 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
"other members must cut off all contact with the censured person." https://www.reddit.com/`exjw`/wiki/subredditglossary#wiki_shunning
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Author akrippler
Posted On Wed Sep 23 15:02:20 UTC 2020
Score 2 as of Wed Sep 23 18:09:54 UTC 2020
Conversation Size 0
Body link
Every kingdom hall is different I suppose, but in my experience not only are you not allowed to attend meetings, but even your immediate family is encouraged to cut off all contact with you. My mother was kicked out of the house when she was disfellowshipped at 15 years old.
submitted by jw_mentions to jw_mentions [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 16:29 Samara_Buckley_Derby [The Beginning of the End] [Derby]- Chapter 14: A Gift of Blood and Life

Summary: Fighting immortals is a sweetheart job for someone obsessed with the afterlife. Dying on the job, however, is cutting it too close. However, Julian's curiosity with the great beyond pushes him a little too far, back to the land of the living and cursed with a newly damned soul, just like the immortals he's sworn to fight...
First chapter --- Previous chapter here!!
Cover art --- Rate me on Royal Road!
The fighting had stopped and Julian didn’t know why and that scared him more than the gunshots. This was probably a privileged position on his part, since being shot was a risk and not certainty of death. The sudden silence of gunshots was accompanied by the scrabbling of feet and Julian was barely able to take in the movement of the enemy troops to the side of their fallen immortal.
There was a following scuffle that Julian couldn’t quite follow before the entire terminal froze with a series of guns pointed at each other. A total standoff.
“This is over.” Laghardi had her gun leveled at a man wearing a bloodied suit who stood closest to her. “We have your leader down. Without her giving orders, you can’t hope this will go in your favor.”
Julian’s eyes focused behind Laghardi, behind the followers, behind all the blood and destruction at the tarmac. All the fighting, deaths and injuries and whatever had happened while Julian and Xing were pushing people out of the terminal, it had only taken the better part of a few minutes. Gunfire, apparently, happens very quickly. But that had been enough time for German police and, indeed, troops, to start mobilizing, and he could hear the sounds of sirens in the distance.
“If none of you are opposed,” came Matti’s voice, calm and unbothered from his perch, “I’m either going to start shooting them or I’m going to pack up and get out before authorities get here. Pooja, I’ve got eyes on you, just blink once for option one or twice for two.”
Julian didn’t see Laghardi’s face but he did hear the shattering crack of a sniper rifle blast through the terminal as another of Lady Helga’s followers dropped. They were getting short on people, down to ten, and only eight able bodied soldiers.
“Tell him to stop,” the man said, eyes wide, darting to the tower. “Tell him to stop.”
“If I move my hand to relay that order, you’ll get the edge on me,” Laghardi said. Julian couldn’t tell by her calm face, whether or not she was even aware of the authorities. She must be, Matti had said as much, but she didn’t flinch nor did her eyes waver. “You’ll have to be the one to put down weapons first.”
“You’d kill us all anyway.”
“Not if you surrender the Lady Von Marwitz. Really, we have no interest in snuffing out her followers.” Laghardi’s eyes narrowed. “Just her.”
“Fire in the hole!” Julian could barely hear Matti’s tinny voice through the ringing in his ear when another shot ripped through the air, taking their number down to nine.
The suited man looked down at Lady Helga’s body. The shot had caused a large part of her skull and brain to become disconnected from her body but it was fast repairing itself in something that was both horrifying and fascinating to watch.
“Your call,” Laghadri said.
The man dropped his gun and held his hands overhead. The other followers quickly followed suit.
“Move in,” Laghardi said, both over coms and to her soldiers. The privates rushed the enemies, kicking weapons away, putting guns to their heads, and escorting them away from Lady Helga’s downed body.
“Grace, Achmed, on her. Tenneson, see to the wounded, stabilize any that need it.” She tapped her earpiece then. “Matti, prep to move out. Schmidt, get in here in 60.”
This last command really put a fire under everyone’s asses as they all snapped to attention. Grace and another private bound up Lady Helga’s body and moved her to the large broken window. The other privates set to work helping each other up or getting the medic to the one soldier, Shanti, who was out cold.
“Losing blood. I can stabilize him for now but he’ll need real care and soon.” The medic pulled out a few patches, slapping them over some of the soldier’s more gaping wounds.
“None of that will matter if we get shot by the feds.” Laghadri bent down and pulled the injured soldier over her shoulder. “Anyone else need help?”
Julian watched, utterly uselessly, as the agents helped each other to the edge of the hall. Julian could, somewhere in the part of his ears that weren’t bleeding, hear sirens and helicopter blades. He was also starting to hurt and realized he’d taken some bullet wounds. Amazing what a drug adrenaline could be.
“Blake.” Grace grabbed him by the shoulder. “You holding up?”
“Yeah. Good to see you’re alive.” His mumble felt half hearted. “Are the others…”
“Shanti looks bad. A couple others are probably going to clock out when their hearts slow down enough to let them. No casualties.” She closed her eyes for a moment and her free hand floated to her collarbone for just a moment. Then she pulled the hand down. “You did good. Glad we had you on board. We’ll talk more after. I don’t like something about this.”
Grace would go from complimenting to pessimism in two seconds flat but he had no time to push her more because just then, a rope ladder dropped down from above.
“Alright!” shouted Laghadri over the whirring blades. “Everyone on board. Get on, start climbing. We got about ninety seconds before this whole place gets really hot.”
And that was all the time they had. The soldiers lept to the ladder, which swung about two feet from the edge and began climbing. Laghardi and Achmed, who both held someone over their shoulders, a patient or a prisoner, somehow managed to get on and start climbing without jeopardizing their grip. Julian was one of the last, climbing on right before Grace, who had a gun trained on the enemies. The Infleurgents had confiscated any weapons they’d been able to find on a quick search but it was unclear how thorough that had been.
He jumped onto the ladder, one of the many most terrifying moments of his life so far, without even realizing how much of a jump it was or how big the risk or just how long the ladder was. As he latched on and began climbing, his limbs screaming in pain, he thought back to his training with Grace, how she’d forced him to pull a rope down for what she claimed was ‘the equivalent of climbing a hundred foot ladder… or at least the closest damn thing I can simulate in this sad excuse for a gym.’ He’d asked when she could possibly imagine him needing to climb a hundred foot ladder, all while nursing his arms which had felt like rubber for two days after.
He kinda wanted to say something but this was inarguably not the time so he just kept climbing.
The rope was so much easier. So so so much easier. This was like doing a pullup where you could never go back down. Somehow you just had to keep pulling up. Allegedly his legs were taking some of the weight off his arms but they sure didn’t seem to know it. All he could do was look at the boots of the soldier on top of him and try to his head against the heels before they ascended the next rung. Don’t look up, don’t look down, just keep climbing.
Of course, had he looked up or down, he’d have known to expect the ladder to start moving. He might have even known when it was going to move. All of this took him utterly by surprise, even though it shouldn’t have. After all, Laghardi said they had 90 seconds. She clearly wasn’t expecting it to take 90 seconds for them to all jump on and get to the top. No, they had to move as soon as everyone was on.
Julian’s muscles cried in pain. He may have a little too. He definitely did a little too. This was supposed to be the debrief time where all the chemicals washed out of his body and he was able to curl in a ball and cry about how crazy life was, how in pain he was, and how close the whole mission was. It wasn’t that he thought he deserved this time. God knows it wasn’t like he’d earned it. But his body had just about finished keeping him going and he didn’t know how to stop the flood of garbage now washing through his veins.
Despite himself, he let his foggy eyes drift from the boots above him to the airport his ladder now sailed through. This might have even been cool if it weren’t for the everything going on right now. The helicopter was gaining altitude but not fast enough, and for a moment, it looked like they’d hit the top of the main building. Instead, they cleared it and only the base of the ladder scraped the roof.
Julian hadn’t noticed the sniper on the roof waiting for this to happen but as soon as the ladder shuddered on impact, there was another tug, and Julian looked down to see Matti now clinging to the bottom rafters. He had his gun slung on his back and kept a watchful eye around them. The helicopter hadn’t even needed to slow to a full stop before it was ramping up speed. At this point the ladder was slowly being retracted into the helicopter, a godsend because Julian, by all rights, still had sixty feet to go.
It was another agonizing minute before finally they were in the sky and he could go find a corner to curl up and take a nap in. It wasn’t until he made it to the corner and turned around to look over the soldiers that he started processing faces again. Sorrowful, panicked, shocked, upset… they were all far too upset for what he expected after a successful mission.
Then his eyes fell on Grace, who was talking very quickly to the medic, her face white and eyes bloodshot. She kept speaking, lips moving more rapidly than Julian was sure he could understand, when she caught him looking. The two made eye contact and Julian realized that she and the medic were crouching over the still unconscious Private Shanti.
Another wave of adrenaline pushed him to her side. “He’s not doing well?” The man was trembling, his skin grey, something Julian had seen before while interviewing hospice patients for his Masters. Calm people. Ready to die. Greeting it. Not like this.
“We can save him. Don’t have the blood to run a transfusion and he’s going into shock now.” Her lips were twisted in a very ugly, very angry frown.
“Why don’t we just travel with like, blood for a transfusion?” Julian asked, hurling a surely useless ‘what if’ into the dire situation. “Seems like it’d help an awful lot.”
“Wouldn’t keep,” she said, not snapping nearly as much as he knew he deserved.
“Even if we did have some,” the medic said, sounding annoyed, “he needs a lot. More than we could reasonably carry.”
“Couldn’t we, like, just all pitch in a little? What’s his blood type?” Julian felt like an idiot but he couldn’t get his head around losing the man right now. “I’ve got O+, that’s a pretty common one, right? I donate all the time, that's like—”
“It would take too long,” said the medic, now angry. “A blood transfusion can take hours. The time it would take to draw from someone here, give to him, and then start another drawing… it would take too goddamn long and unless you’re volunteering us to just drain you dry and get it all over with at once, I’d suggest you shut your goddamn face.”
Julian nodded, shut his mouth, and pulled up his sleeve, thrusting his arm at the medic. “Is there enough that you can take to help? Any chance that it could help?”
“Are you fucking—”
“Tenneson,” said Grace. “Would it help?”
The medic’s eyes darted back to Shanti. “He’s O+ too. Fuck it, you sure zombie?”
“Don’t spare me any drop you need.” Julian had to fight to keep a grin off his face, since he knew that this was far from a guaranteed shot to save the soldier and this was going to hurt like hell or at the very least, be very unpleasant. But at least he’d get his nap.
The medic swabbed his inner arm with a sterilization wipe and then torniquented the arm. “Alright, stay still and say something if you want me to stop.” He felt a pinch in his arm.
“He’d better fucking not,” said one private.
“Yeah, he ate a dozen bullets for Yildis, he can spare some fucking blood.”
“Will this make Shanti immortal? Having zombie blood in him?”
Julian didn’t ask them to quiet nor did he ask for someone to silence them. As the similar draining feeling began to grip his body, he relished listening to the privates bicker. It gave him something to focus on.
“I’m gonna do this quick and dirty, not how they teach us in phlebotomy school.” The medic’s voice was starting to sound far away and Julian just nodded. He’d only passed out twice before but one thing he always remembered was that, well, he never remembered passing out. He just remembered waking up. This would likely be a similar case, where he didn’t remember passing out he just remembered—
The boat.
God it was actually nice to be dead this time. The clarity and peace that came with the river was honestly refreshing and exactly what he needed. He stood up in his boat this time, looking into the others around him. There were quite a few bodies— no, not bodies. People. They did not sleep, much like how he hadn’t his first time, nor in subsequent visits. They simply drifted and enjoyed the ride. The light above. The rocking of the boats. Any who heard Julian ignored him.
The last time Julian had died had been a combat situation, and he’d blithely plunged back to Earth, a little soon for his body. The time before, he’d been terrified of not returning. This time, though, he had a little bit more time to collect himself. Think a little.
If Julian’s stunt back on Earth didn’t work, poor Shanti would be here soon. Where would Shanti enter from? The boats always seemed to drift in from side streams that simply appeared when needed and vanished again, cutting through the waterfalls at the banks of the stream. It was impossible to predict where they would appear, so it would be impossible to predict where Shanti would arrive, if he did. Simply impossible.
Julian felt a warm tingle in his brain. Impossible was his favorite word. He looked over his shoulder at the precipice of the waterfall, getting closer. Yes, he had to move, but he may not yet have to jump back to Earth. Not if he rowed up the stream. After all, he’d already violated the natural order of things. What was a little rowing against the current?
It was surprisingly easy. The little oar pushed him effortlessly through the stream, which rippled underneath it, sending waves out hundreds of feet, all the way to the watery walls of the shore, where the tiny disturbances touched the walls and shimmered up the water pouring down. When Julian touched the glasslike walls, he was treated to a deep, unsettling gong, but the only noise these gentle waves made upon hitting the streaming barrier was a delicate chiming noise he felt in his stomach.
What was the water made of? This wasn’t corporal, so this water couldn’t be a mere combination of hydrogen and oxygen. No, rather it was almost certainly the reality of the cosmos bending gracefully into the shape of something he recognized. So had the river simply appeared as such because he’d wanted it to? What did the other immortals see? He expected the river because so many had told him they’d experienced it but if it was simply the cosmos showing him what he’d expected, then why did so many expect the river, to the point where it was a universal experience?
Was there, as Grace believed, a sentient entity behind all this? Perhaps one with a love of water? After all, it was from water that all life began. Maybe it only made sense that water was where they should all end. Was there a river that led to conception that they all just forgot?
Many of Julian’s old classmates had turned to philosophy to answer the same question that burned in the core of their hearts. Julian had been too hungry to only theorize.
And now he was here.
Further he rowed up the river, noting fewer and fewer boats as he did. What determined the length of the boat’s ride? Julian’s had always been short. Was it age? Deeds on Earth? Belief or creed? As he drifted, he peered into a passing boat and a shiver of shame ran through him. His eyes fixed on the small girl who lay inside, a peaceful look on her face, but her eyes, surprisingly, open.
Her lips parted, emotion crossing her face and Julian ducked down in his boat, pressing himself to the floor and praying that she would not risk peering about. It was hard to say how long he lay at the bottom of his boat, as counting was impossible in a plane where time didn’t exist, but soon he heard the roar of the waterfall and knew it was time to leave the river.
He sat up in his boat and saw the vessel he knew belonged to the girl continue to drift towards the edge. Slowly, he rowed to the shore, still eying her boat for any sign of disruption. But no, as he paddled to keep his canoe in place, hers dipped and bobbed before falling over the edge, bringing her to the place in the afterlife carved away for her soul.
The encounter stuck in Julian just how unnatural he was and how much damage he could potentially causeif his curiosity grew too unchecked. An exploration, if not tempered, could defile this place or the souls of those within it.
He would have to be more cautious next time. For now, his first exploration had finished, and, praying that his body was good and restored, he plunged off the river back into the physical world.

“Julian! Jesus Christ, about time.” Julian’s eyes snapped open as his body was roughly shaken. It was, until that, his most pleasant revival. He was treated to Grace’s furious eyes, boring through him. “How long do we have?” she asked someone in the helicopter.
“Fifteen until the next revival.” Laghardi’s cool voice was a stark contrast to Grace’s ferociousness but she seemed placated by the Colonel’s response and leaned back.
“Alright Blake,” Grace said, back to business, “there’s been a development while you were out.”
Julian groaned a bit as he pushed himself to a sit. “Shanti?”
“I got the blood of Gods in me,” came a response from somewhere in the helicopter.
“Shut up, Shanti,” Grace said. “He’s fine, as you can hear. The problem is the bitch.” She jerked a thumb behind her. “She wants to talk to you.”
“Lady Helga? Why me?”
“Something about immortal to immortal.” Grace’s eyes still held the fury of lightning.
Julian’s stomach twisted at this. On one hand, the concept of getting to talk, face to face, with another immortal was so exciting that he didn’t want to think anything more of the request. On the flip side, were some very real, disquieting questions.
What did she want? What was she planning? And how did she know that he was immortal?
Let me know what you think in the comments!
submitted by Samara_Buckley_Derby to redditserials [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 15:51 Derstoronius I Honestly think Mineta is a Good Character.

I Have a lot of unpopular opinions. And when I say a lot, I really mean A LOT.
I Think the 2003 Hulk movie directed by Ang Lee is a masterpiece and one of the best superhero movie ever made.
I Think "Sonic Unleashed" is a good game.
I Think "My Hero Academia" Is really deep, complex and smart, and not just a mindless shounen.
I Think Emo Peter Parker from Spider-Man 3 is one of the best (and most underrated) aspects of the movie.
And I'm just talking about pop culture here. If we get into politcs, oh boy, I Would probably be one of the most downvoted reddit users of all time if I ever said some of my opinions about politics.
But, out of all my unpopular and controversal opinions, one of the most unpopular is:
Minoru Mineta, from "My Hero Academia" Is actually a good character.
And if you disagree with me, then FUCK YOU!!! YOU SHOULD GO TO HELL FOR DISAGREEING WITH ME!!!
(or maybe i could just politely present my arguments. yeah, i think that's a better option)
Just please, hear what i have to say. Maybe i can change your mind, who knows?

Part 1: Mineta Is a terribly written character
When discussing about Mineta, You'll often see people saying that he's a bad written character, he has poorly-developed motivations, he has no character arc, he has no backstory, etc...
Ok, guys, let's stablish something first: Mineta is not a main character.
Yeah, I Know, what a "The Sixth Sense" level plot twist, right? I Bet you didn't see that coming. But seriously, He's barely even a secondary character. I Mean, even among the supporting cast, he's one of the characters with the least amount of screentime. Characters like Kirishima and Iida have way more screentime than poor Mineta. So, expecting him to have some Silmarilion-level backstory is laughable. MHA Has a lot of characters, there are 20 people just on class 1-A. Add the U.A teachers, the villains, and some of the other members of the supporting cast, like Midoriya's mother and the other pro-heroes and you'll understand why dedicating time to develop the motivations and backstory of a tertiary character whose main purpose is to be a comic relief is not a good idea. It would be better to use this time to develop your protagonists, antagonists and the conflict between them. A lot of the time, MHA Can't even do that properly (I'm looking at you, Overhaul) so we can't really demand it to spend even more time with... Mineta. Am I Saying that no time should be used to develop Mineta and the other secondary characters? Of course not. I'm just saying that time is a limited resource, and as all the limited resources, it should be administrated in a rational way. The guy who shot uncle ben will never get the same amount of development as Spider-man, and he shouldn't. Mineta is not a top priority. And, if you are one of the folks who use this argument, I Would like to ask you something: Do you apply this logic to EVERY Character? Do you think Bakugou's parents are terrible characters because they didn't get the same amount of development as Midoriya?

Part 2: Mineta just wants to be a hero so he can get laid, what a selfish bastard.
So, this is a really minor point, so I'll be quick.
In the My Hero Academia universe, Superheroes are celebrities. It's the job most kids wants to do, kinda like how most little kids in our world wish to be an astronaut or a pirate. So, you can't really expect every hero in the MHA Universe to have completly autruistic motivations. Sure, you have some heroes like All Might and Midoriya who just wish to save as many people as possible, but you also have a lot of people with not-so-altruistic resons for being a hero, like status and money. Uraraka herself admits that she wants to be a hero for money (although you could argue that she's being altruistic, since she wants money to help her poor family) But then you have Bakugou who wants to be a hero just to prove that he's the strongest in the whole world, and Mt.Lady basically just wants to be famous. You don't see anyone hating them because of that, so why do you guys hate Mineta because some of his reasons are a little bit selfish?

Part 3: Mineta is a bad comic relief!
I Think we all know how hard it can be to discuss comedy, specially on the internet. And that's because, as we all know, "CoMeDy Is SuBjEcTiVe", and yes, that is partially correct but as all things in the universe, there's a way it can be done effectively and a way it can be done not-so-effectively. I Mean, the fact that 99.99% of all people can agree that Jar Jar Binks is a bad comic relief is an evidence that comedy is not 100% subjective.
So, Is Mineta a good comic relief? I Would say: Yes. Yes, he is.
But, instead of saying why He's a good comic relief, I will first say what makes a bad comic relief and then explain how he doesn't fit the criteria for being a bad comic relief.
So, what makes a bad comic relief?
1: A Bad comic relief will make jokes at the wrong moment.
Do you know what "Bathos" mean? "Bathos" Is when the tone of a story sudden abruptly changes. Remember that scene in "A New Hope" when Luke returns to his house only to find his uncle and his aunt dead bodies carbonized? Imagine if in that scene C-3PO Had said "Wow, I think 2 suns are really bad for your skin".
That would have been a bathos. It was a serious and dramatic moment, a joke at that moment would have ruined it (By the way, since we're talking about Star Wars here, I have to mention that "The Last Jedi" Is the movie with the biggest amount of Bathos I've ever seen (I didn't really have to mention this by the way, I Just love shitting on TLJ))
My point here is: A Bad comic relief will make jokes at the wrong moment.

2: A Bad character relief will tell jokes that don't reflect it's personality.
To ilustrate this point I'll use 2, very famous examples: Jar Jar Binks and MCU Tony Stark (I Know Tony's main purpose is not to be a comic relief, but he's often designed to this position, so he'll do the job)
Why Is Jar Jar a bad comic relief and Tony a good one? There are many reasons, but one of the main reasons is that Tony's jokes reflect his personality. His jokes are ironic, sarcastic and dominant. Becuase those are caracteristics that are also present in Tony's personality. Jar Jar Bnks jokes, on the other hand, are usually something like tripping or dropping something heavy on his foot. Like, something any other character could do, not something you would link directly to Jar Jar.

And that's it. Those are the two main characteristics of a bad comic relief. Does Mineta fit any of them? No. He never tells a joke at a inapropriated moment. You'll never see him saying something funny at a funeral. And his jokes are a reflection of himself. Most of Mineta's Jokeas are sex-related and the target of the joke is often Mineta himself. Why? Well, that's because...

So, we're finally here. I'm finally gonna talk about Mineta and his failed atempts to get laid.
Ok, so... I Know MHA Has a problem with sexualized characters (That's actually a problem in the anime industry as a whole, but we're gonna talk about that in a minute). And that becomes an eeven bigger problem when you realize that the most sexualized characters in the series are a bunch of teenage girls. So yeah, I agree that this is a really big problem. But here's the thing: It's not a problem with Mineta. It's a problem with the Anime/Manga Industry.
Let's look at something that happens in the 40th episode of the anime. In this episode, The class 1-A Students are taking a bath. There's a wall separating the boys and the girls. Mineta then decides to climb up the wall to see his female classmates naked, but the Wild Wild Pussycats nephew Kota appears at the top and slaps Mineta, who falls on Iida's face. Pretty funny joke, right? But right after that, the girls from class 1-A, thanking Kota for his help, call his name, making Kota look directly at them and pass out. And we get a direct shot of a bunch of teen girls... Completly naked... Wow. Just... wow. I Don't need to explain how fucked up this is (Or at least I Shouldn't need to). I Understand that Kota needed to pass out so he could fall and be saved by Midoriya to move the plot foward, but do we really needed to see the girls naked? Couldn't we just hear the girls calling Kota, then see his reaction, maybe we can have the "blood is coming out of his nose because he just saw something sexy" cliché and then we see him passing out? Couldn't we have done that? It would have achieved the same result, but without oversexualizing the female students of class 1-A. But no, we just had to see a group of 15 years old completly naked girls with mellon-sized boobs, didn't we?
This moment was grose. It was discusting. I Know it was. But, just a question: WHAT THE HELL DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH MINETA???
Mineta's participation was over. He was just there to make a little joke and help move the plot foward, he didn't have anything to do with that creepy scene, that's not on him. That's a problem with the anime/manga industry.
If you've spent any time consuming media, you probably realized that protagonists have a tendency to be... well... sexy as hell. You can see that in books, games, comics, tv shows, etc... Every main character has super defined muscles, every main female character has big breasts and a perfect ass, everyone has a perfect skin, everyone has a perfect hair, every protagonist has a perfect hair and skin, no one has pimples. EVERYONE. IS. HOT.
Just look at the biggest blockbuster films from the last decade: Superhero movies. Tell me ONE Superhero movie where the main character(s) doesn't have a perfect body/haiskin. I Can just think of two examples: Avengers: Endgame, with fat thor (But that doesn't really count, I feel like fat thor is easier for the general audience to accept because we have 49 other heroes on screen who are sex). And the second example is Birds of Prey with characters like Montoya and Cassandra Cain, and the only reason why Birds of Prey has characters like that is because it's a movie with a feminist message, and one of the main purposes of feminism is to "deconstruct the beauty standards impose to women". Literally every other superhero movie released on the 2010's has a super hot protagonist. Every MCU Movie has at least one scene where the protagonist appears shirtless (except Captain Marvel, for some reason).
And It's easy to understand why it happens. It's because of the escapism. Escapism is present in basically all forms of media. Everyone likes to see themselves in the hero. And, if the hero is ugly, then we'll project ourselves on a ugly character, which is not something most of us would like. So yeah, atractive characters in fiction is not a ad thing. It's common. But in the anime industry, it is a bad thing. Characters in anime arent just "hot". They're REALLY, REALLY, REALLY FUCKING OVERSEXUALIZED. Sometimes, I'll be watching a shounen anime and then something so NSFW Will happen that I'll think "wait, Am i watching a Hentai?" The best example I Can think of it is that scene at the end of the first season of Sword Art Online where Asuna almost gets raped, and the direction clearly wants you to have a boner while watching that! And you could write a whole rant just talking about this. Hell, you could write a whole book just talking about this. And I Have my own opinion on why Japan Sexualizes It's characters so much, but this Rant is Already too big, so I'm not gonna talk about this. The point is: People act like all the ocasions where we see a girls being sexualized it's because of Mineta, but that's a problem with the Anime Industry as a whole, not with poor Mineta.

Ok, I've explain how the Anime Itself sexualizes It's female characters not Mineta. Now, let's talk about... Mineta. Is Mineta a Creepy, Pervert, Rapist women-abuser? Yes. Yes, he is. I Know that. You know that. And the author knows that. That's why Mineta is constantly punished by the universe for trying to sexually harass his classmates. Do you remember when i Said that When Mineta is on-screen, he's often the target of the Jokes? That's because the joke is often "Mineta tries to do something pervert and the universe punishes him for it". Mineta tries to say something inapropriated to Ochacko? Asuy slaps him in the face. Mineta tries to Spy the girl's bathroom? Jirou uses her earphones to hurt his eye. Mineta tries to climb a wall to see his classmates naked? Kota slaps him and he falls to the ground, all his effort was in vain, what an idiot. Mineta is ridiculous. He has a ridiculous outfit, a ridiculous costume and his powers are ridiculous. All the characters (specially Jirou and Iida) talk about how Mineta is a trash human being everytime he does something perverted. Mineta is not represented as a good, heroic guy when he does something like that. He's represented as a terrible human being.
Also, do you really think Mineta is the only boy in Class 1-A who likes to look at the girls? I Mean, come on. Just look at Uraraka's costume. JUST LOOK AT MOMO'S OUTFIT, FOR GOD'S SAKE! Midoriya almost has a heart attack when he sees Uraraka in her hero costume for the first time. We're taling about a bunch of 15 years old boys here! Actually, we're talking about a school where every student, boys and girls have perfect bodies! (all the boys have super-defined muscles. There are no things like fat or skinny) I Can bet my soul that every single student in that school has inapropriated thoughts about their classmates, Mineta is just the only one who's dumb enough to actually say it out loud.
submitted by Derstoronius to CharacterRant [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 15:20 dancingqueenmaybe17 i think i might have an eating disorder/disordered eating

so i have struggled with my body image and feelings of being “overweight” since i was like 13. i’m F16 now and a dancer which means i am constantly comparing my dancing and my body to other people. i remember looking at myself back when i was 13 and thinking god you look so fat which i now look at and wish that i could be her again. last year i went on a holiday and when i came back i had gained like 4 kilos which made me very upset but i didn’t do anything about it. later into the year i began tracking my calories and feeling shame about what i was eating, but nothing serious.
this year though it god pretty bad, i looked at some photos of my friends and i at the beach and i looked the worst out of all of them and i refused to post any of them. at school i would eat my food really quickly because i was so hungry and then i would just stare at what everyone else was eating and how much they were eating to see how i could get skinnier. then covid hit and i was at home for like 5 weeks which was not good. i would make porridge but make it so small and eat it so slowly that my mum said i needed to make more. i would weigh and track my breakfast or skip it all together and not eat until 11:30 and say i was “fasting”. it doesn’t sound that bad so i think i’m overreacting.
i would often skip lunch or just have a coffee instead of real food. there had been a few times where i tried to make myself throw up but i just couldn’t and i felt so ashamed. i had been doing fine lately and i was really proud of myself but i guess i sorta relapsed. i went to a sleepover with my friends and we started talking and it turns out all of us had disordered eating of some sort. one of my friends was bulimic/anorexic when she was 12/13 and i felt so awful because none of us had noticed it, another friend fully stopped eating at school for like 4 weeks and said she was eating at home but i didn’t really believe her, the other one has just started to have struggles where she’s comparing herself to others and skipping meals occasionally.
up until that day i was doing great but then we had pancakes the next morning and i made sure i didn’t eat the most out of all of us and i wasn’t eating too much. i’ve been slightly starving myself and doing things to trigger myself such as watching what i eat in a day with and ED on youtube. i’ve also crouched next to the toilet a few times and i’ve had binges after dinner where i feel like i just can’t control myself.
i also have dance competitions soon which gives me anxiety over looking larger than other girls which for reference i’m 157cm tall and 53kg. my goal weight is 45kg but i feel like i’ll never reach it.
idk i guess i’m just asking for advice and to know if i should seek help because i don’t want to, but i don’t want to die or have long term implications either.
TL;DR i had disordered eating and body dysmorphia for a while and recently snuck back into old habits that look like the beginning of an eating disorder.
submitted by dancingqueenmaybe17 to fuckeatingdisorders [link] [comments]

2020.09.23 15:18 Its_Embrii last reminder sisters, faking depression ain't funny <3

istg these two girls think jumping off a damn cliff is something to brag about
they were sharing their "depressed" stories, and idk if it's real but tbh if it was real, I wouldn't vent it in front of everyone- like they were talking about how i wanted to jump of a literal cliff and i was happy about it-
id ask for actual god damn help instead of ranting it in a virtual game that's literally all about trading at this point- my intentions are not to offend anyone, I'm just sharing my opinions o-o
the other one was actually being sympathetic to her, but the girl who was ranting just laughed??? at her own situation??? which makes me more sus that its fake-
submitted by Its_Embrii to RoyaleHighTrading [link] [comments]

God Help the Girl (2014) - Rotten Tomatoes